Like I never existed
by Lily Desdemona Potter
Summary: After Edward left Bella never had much luck with life: her mother gets pregnant and dies in childbirth and her step father doesn't want anything to do with them. Charlie dies from a car crash in Seattle and Jacob imprinted and left her at the alter...
1. Chapter 1: Book I

**Summery: _After Edward left Bella never had much luck with life: her mother gets pregnant and dies in childbirth and her step father doesn't want anything to do with them. Charlie dies from a car crash in Seattle and Jacob imprinted and left her at the alter. _**

_**Even 10 years latter Edward Cullen still haunts her memory, and what could happen when he comes to her school, and how is it she doesn't appear a day over 25? Good genetics maybe?**_

**Note: Since It is 10 years latter Bella needs a older actress, I have chosen Sophia bush, and I will get some pic's up soon for that. **

**Chapter 1: News, News, News and more News. **

**September 18th 2007: Bella's Pov**

I knew the moment he asked me to come for a walk with him something was wrong. He never wanted me in the woods, always going on about how dangerous it was and I never once argued. He was always wright, but at this moment I wished to pull back, say 'no' and demand he stop being the way he had been since my birthday.

"Lets talk then." I said instead as we stopped only a few feet into the dense wood, I could see the house from here, some walk. He just stared at me and it wasn't his usual loving stare. His golden eyes were filled with a emotion I couldn't place. They were also darker, almost a brown they were so dark, and he was looking down at me, like I was mud under his shoe.

"We're leaving." It was the only words he spoke, but it was the only two words he had said with real emotion since the birthday disaster. I looked at him my long brown hair was flowing behind me from the little breeze that was blowing. My eyes were filling with confusion and my stomach coiled with dread.

"When you say we....you don't..." I trailed off and he just looked at me with void eyes, cold eyes.

"I mean me and my family." He said coldly and I chocked, he wasn't, he couldn't possibly mean he was. I was breathing funny now, almost like a hummingbird and I found It hard to breath at all. My chest contracted and it hurt to get it to uncoil itself. I feared in that moment I'd die of a collapsed chest...it made me chuckle inside.

"Ok...I'll come with you." I said trying to make it sound confident and sure, but it came out almost a plead, begging. He just glared and I could tell he was gritting his perfect sharp teeth. I looked down and felt the blood leave my cheek, for once the blush didn't appear, I'd say I was almost paler then him by now.

"No, you don't seem to understand Bella, this world isn't meant for you." He said and I looked up with tears in my eyes. He was really doing this, he was leaving me and for what? One little accident?

"No, please, this is about the party, because that was nothing!" He just stared as a tear fell down my face, I wouldn't let any more come. I couldn't look like a week chit in front of him, I refused to show my pain.

"Your wright, it was what was supposed to happen, what was meant to happen. It's all the more reason why you don't belong. It's ok though, it's not your fault. The memories we have together will fade over time, it'll be like we never met, like I never existed." He spoke and I just stared, my brown eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

"You don't want me?" I asked and he glared again, this time more beastly, and I felt my heart speed up, not out of fear but panic; well it did chill me a bit, at that moment he appeared more like the predator he was then ever before. I wouldn't let him know that though, never.

"No." It was the only word he said and it shattered my world. He walked forward and titled my head up, I thought he was going to apologize but he just kissed my forehead one last time and spoke, "Time heals all wounds...you'll be safe...just promise me... don't do anything reckless...for Charlie of course." He said and I nodded, trying to control my tears.

"In return I'll make you a promise...you'll never hear of me again. It'll be like I never existed." Then he was gone, so fast I only saw a blur of bronze. I looked in the direction and choked my heart felt like half of it was gone, no longer beating. I made myself move and called out his name as I ran into the forest no longer caring about anyone but my heart.

_**All this pain  
Take this life and make it yours.  
All this hate take your heart and let it love again.  
You will survive it somehow.**_

_**Life starts now.  
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.  
Life starts now.  
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.  
Life starts now.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Mom at 18 Part 1**

**Bella's Pov:**

**October**

**November**

**December**

**January**

I didn't remember much of life after _**he**_ left...it hurt to much to think about him and even his name hurt unbearably. My life had become meaningless after he left but I had too move from my catatonic state; I hadn't been able to control myself that night; I had run after him but i was only human. I remember falling the night in the woods, but after falling down and not getting up I had spent the rest of September in a coma with pneumonia and the flu; the doctor said I was lucky to be alive and that was the possible reason for my coma. Charlie had hardly left my side while I was there or so the doctors had said, and my mom visited once, but couldn't afford to come and stay the whole time. Like I said before, the doctor's had been unsure why I was in a coma in the first place, but I knew.

If it hadn't been for Charlie I'd have stayed in bed all day and continue to try and keep myself from falling apart. As it was I had stopped all emotional thought or process. I couldn't even feel pain unless I wanted too. I had cut my finger making dinner and not realized until my hand became wet and sticky with my own blood. I had just stared at it transfixed and hadn't done anything but stare until Charlie had come in and snapped me out of my thoughts. Needless to say he hadn't let me back into the kitchen.

It was breakfast now around the middle of January, I had grudgingly gotten out of bed, taken a quick shower, brushed my hair and threw on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt I wasn't even sure the color of. I had no wish to find out, cloths meant little to me, even before this. I slowly stirred my cheerios in the bowl in front of me, just looking, and taking some in my spoon and then draining it back into the bowl, like it was the best thing since the slinky.

I was shocked out of this by Charlie, who slammed his fist on the table.

"I've had enough Bella! Ever since you woke up in October and came home you haven't spoken a word, you just moved around like a ghost. I wont..no, can't live like this. You need to pull yourself together!" He almost yelled, I hadn't heard him raise his voice before so it was shocking. I just looked at him wide eyed.

He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I think you should go live with Renee in Jacksonville." He spoke almost to low. I looked at him shocked, was he kicking me out?

"Don't get me wrong Bella, I love you but I can't watch as you destroy yourself little by little." I gulped and shook my head.

"No..I want to stay here." I croaked out. My voice was low and cracked with unuse. I couldn't remember the last time I had spoken to him To anyone. I watched as his eyes widened and he smiled just a small smile.

"You need to get out of this town Bella. I understand...probably more then most what your going through but he isn't worth it." He said and I thanked him silently for not saying his name. He was wrong though, Ed..He was worth everything. He was my light, my world...my heart.

"I'm calling your mother today..." I didn't let him finish I stood up and with a dark look in my eyes I screamed, "Please, no, I'll do anything. I'll go out, with Jessica. Please...Daddy." I said a few tears running my cheeks as I lowered my head, my dark brown hair falling into my face. I always marveled how my hair was always darker when I was saddened or angry, the same with my usually light chocolate colored eyes.

"Be..This isn't up for discussion. I'm calling, and if you can show me you can be more then a ghost then I'll consider it." He said and stood up walking outside to his cruiser. I blinked and sat down, was I that unbearable to live with? I lifted the spoon filled my cereal and sneared at it. I guess I better start 'showing' Charlie I can function to his liking. I instantly felt the urge to spit it out before realizing the salty taste was from putting the salt instead of sugar in my cereal. I shook my head and swallowed, stood up, and dumped it in the sink before grabing my bag, coat, and left the house for school.

The drive was uneventful. I passed...well was passed by other cars, my truck couldn't go over 50 and I wasn't known for taking it over 30, or 35. I pulled in happily, and chuckled to myself bitterly, happy wasn't the word I'd describe myself as. Getting out of the car with no expression on my face I instantly took notice of my surroundings for once in three months.

Nothing had changed, but one thing had, the shiny silver volvo, green jeep or the red BMW were no where in site. They had really left..I guess that was apparent from the three or four months I hadn't reacted to anything, always looking at their empty table. I missed them, Jasper with his emotions, always making me worry less. Emmett and his humor and teddy bear exterior. Alice...I chocked back a sob, I missed Alice the most next to..Him. Hell, I missed Rosalie and she had hated me.

I found myself in English when I came out of my thoughts. I should have known this would never get better, but I didnt want to go to Florida. It was sunny, too sunny. I'd have to admit to myself that I'd really never see the Cullen's again. They couldnt go into the sun...I made myself a promise then; If they couldn't go into the sun, nether would I.

I trudged through the day until finally I sat in Spanish. It was the only class I had sitting beside Jessica and if I was going to go through with my promise to Charlie I might as well get a head start. Twisting around In my seat I opened my mouth to speak. "Jess..." I said trying to get her attention. The moment the first syllable exited my mouth she turned to me in shock. Her brown eyes wide and her long curly brown hair had hit me in the face from her fast movement.

I began to wonder as I looked at her goldfish expression if she had gotten whiplash.

"Ye..yes Bella?" She asked and I just blinked before asking in a monotonous voice.

"Will you go to the movies with me tonight..I mean I promised my dad I'd get out and I really don't want to go alone." Her eyes brightened and she smiled, it was almost, almost contagious. The bell rang just after that and I walked solemnly lunch half listening to Jessica plan our movie tonight.

"So do you want to carpool, right after school or latter tonight." I sighed and pushed my fork through the green string cheese..at least that was what I think it was.

"I thought we'd just go straight to Port Angelus...of course we can stop at your house to tell your parents." I spoke and at this the people at our table stopped and turned towards us. I didn't know some of them, only Angela, Ben, Tyler, Mike and Eric.

"So...your talking now." Mike said, almost with hidden resentment in his words. I just nodded and Angela sent me a kind and understanding smile. I smiled back, but it wasn't a real one, I didn't know if I'd ever let a real one leak through again.

Lunch was regular after this, everyone pretty much ignored me ad I just stared at me food and snuck glances at the empty Cullen table. How dare they have such a hold on me. As I made my way to my truck I put my books inside and looked around for Jessica.

I found her almost too easily. The whole way to Port Angelus I just sat and listened to her stories, she seemed to be happy that I listened and put my two cents in every now and then. The movie was bland and not scary at all, though Jessica did seem to be effected. She kept muttering about how her dad was right and it was uber scary. I did smirk at the blood and guts, there was a magor gore factor and if it had been five or six months before it would have made me cringe and look away.

As I sat watching it though I saw the zombies, moving fast, but not too fast, and how they looked. Eyes void of emotion and face set in a scowl. As the female zombie;who oddly enough had long brown hair and void brown eyes and ivory skin, bent down to eat the man I blinked and felt my stomach jolt.

_'Its like living with a ghost,' _The words came flooding back as I watched and I stood straight up.

"Bella?" Jess asked me from my side. I looked at her and said in a quiet but strong voice.

"I gotta go to the bathroom." She looked at me then laughed and nodded. I didn't get the joke but just slid out of the ile and almost ran the whole way to the bathroom. I didn't really need to use the bathroom, but I did feel like my heart was tearing apart, my insides were fighting to be thrown up, and I was almost ready to pull my hair out. I put my hands at the sides of a sink and gripped them tight as I slowly heightened my head to look at myself in the mirror. The first time in months, I finally saw what I looked like.

"No, Charlie, its like living with a zombie." I whispered as I took in my almost dead looking dark chestnut colored hair, and my chocolate brown eyes that were no longer happy, but void of emotion and almost seemed muddy and black in contrast to what they used to be.

"Are you alright?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I looked at them from the mirror only to see a small girl with a pixie cut and dark blue eyes. She could pass for Al..for her if only she was a bit shorter and had black hair instead of blond. I smiled trying to make it real, and to my shock it came out semi true, my eyes even gained some emotion.

"I'm fine now." I said and she nodded and headed to a stall. I just took one last look at myself and glared. "No more. I'm not going to hurt Charlie or my friends anymore. Its over." I then walked out and though I felt better, it was only pride, I still felt empty.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Mom at 18 Part II**

Jessica pulled up to my house at 11 that night. After the movie we had went to a local McDonald's and then spent a hour or two in a clothing shop. I hadn't bought anything but Jessica had bought me a pair of jeans, with butterfly's on the back pocket and a dark blue camisole. She simply said it was a late birthday present. I had hesitatingly accepted it, If I was truthful I did like the shirt.

I walked into the house, noting Charlie's cruiser in the drive and as I opened the door my face a bit more open then it had been. I was smiling softly, not a true smile but it was a improvement, and my eyes had brightened just a bit, at least now they had some emotion in them. I was heading up the stairs when Charlie's voice stopped me.

"Where the HELL, have you been!?" He almost roared and I turned trying to look innocent but the look on his face made me cringe. It was a mix of anger, sadness and worry. When he looked at me fuller in the light his expression faltered a bit, his eyes sparked with happiness...or something similar to it.

"I...I went out with Jess, just like I said I was." I spoke almost confidently and bit smug. He looked shocked, it was so unlike me in these last months. He sighed and motioned for me to follow hum. I did, dragging my feet. Charlie wasn't ever this emotional from what I recalled and it worried me. I looked down and felt my mind wondering back to how E..HE had acted before leaving me. It was spooky similar only unlike him, Charlie was angry.

"Sit down Isabella." He said. Crap!, full name; I thought as I cringed and sat down across from him on the couch. He was sitting on our coffee table and he pinched the bridge of his nose but I pushed the image of Ed..dammit..Edward doing the same back. I didn't need him...I could live without him.

"I called your mother earlier." He started and I widened my eyes. He had really called Renee? I had thought he was trying to scare me, bluff his way passed my barrier that I had built around my emotions.

"Why, I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING OUT! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK..." He cut me off by standing up anger on his usually calm face and he shouted, the first real angry shout I'd ever heard my father use.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! I DIDN'T JUST CALL BECAUSE OF THAT....AND THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT ETHER." He yelled and then sat back down I think I saw his eyes tear up.

"Your mother is...well the doctors don't think she will make passed the birth." He said almost whispering as he went. I looked at him shocked, mom was..did he just say...

"What? Mom is...pregnant?" I asked and he looked at me and nodded.

"It wasn't long after you left Phoenix after your..accident." He began and then sniffed

"When I called your mother...I felt like something wasn't wright, then not two minutes into our conversation she screams like someone is killing her." He started again and I had to hold in my gasp. Was she ok? She had to be....plenty of women had baby's at 36, it wasn't uncommon.

"The next thing I heard was Phil running and grabbing bags, from Renee's screaming I knew it was the baby bags...your mother went into labor." He said and looked at me. I was confused now, what was charlie trying to say? He sighed upon seeing my confused and lost look before continuing.

"I called the hospital about a hour ago. Renee is only in her seventh month...she didn't want to tell you this Bella, but Renee was told after having you that having another child would be to dangerous because of her cancer." He said and I gasped and stood up.

"CANCER!?" I lowered my voice as small tears came to my eyes, I suddenly felt faint.

"What...why. Mom doesn't have cancer, she would have told me." I watched as he stood up and pulled me into a small hug. I felt so odd, Charlie wasn't one for hugs...not even when I was younger. He pulled back and sat back down on the coffee table pulling me down on his knee. Which was even odder considering he hadn't done that since I was 5 years old and I was now 18...a lot heavier and bigger.

"Renee never wanted you to know...its the reason we fought when you were a child. She went into remission when you were 7 and was declared cleared of the cancer in her breast...but it wasn't long after that she wanted to have another child, I wouldn't allow that. I was so afraid it would hurt her in the long run and I was happy just having you." He stopped as a tear ran down his face. It finally clicked, the reason my mother left forks.

"Mom didn't leave because she hated forks, it was because you wouldn't let her have another child." I said and he nodded and chuckled. "She didn't love forks but she said that you and I made it so much more bearable. It was a week after your 8th birthday when she left." He said and I let my tears fall.

"Mom will be ok though, wright?. You said she was cleared of the cancer." I asked and he sighed again, when he sighed so much I knew it never meant good news.

"I'm sorry Bella. It was during one of her check ups they said that the cancer was back...she was four months then and she refused to heed the doctors words and have a abortion." Charlie spoke and I chocked, she was dying. I didn't blame my mother though, I'd never kill my baby ether but I didn't really plane to ever have any ether. Though obviously Ed..Edward had made that decision for me.

"She isn't going to make it is she." I asked and he shook his head. He was about to speak when the phone rang. He looked at me but then stood up and sat me back on the floor, and walked over to our phone. He picked it up and looked perplexed...then realization flashed across his face.

"Yes this is Charles Swan....Yes, Sophia Renee Dwyer is my ex-wife.." I raised a eyebrow. I had never heard anyone call my mother by her first name...I always new she went by her middle but not that she even put the first one on documents. She had always hated her first name.

"....HOW DARE YOU! NO, YOU STAY THERE AND TELL THOSE DOCTORS TO STOP WITH THAT...REALLY? WE WILL JACKASS." I snapped of my thoughts by Charlies yelling. I had never seen him so angry, and I wondered what the hell was happening. He slammed the phone down and then turned to me.

"Bells...it isn't good news." He said and then I felt my head rush.

"....She's dead baby...she lived long enough to have the twin's but..." I didn't hear anymore before I fell to the ground and everything went black.

…**..................................................................Hour latter:**

I awoke to a soft wind hitting me In the face. I slowly opened my eyes and cursed myself for not eating while with Jess or at school. I realized slowly that we were no longer at my house, I was in the cruiser and Charlie was at the wheel, the radio was also on and a oldies song I reconsigned from my parents time was on.

**Gina works the diner all day  
Working for her man, she brings home her pay  
For love - for love**

**She says we've got to hold on to what we've got  
cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
For love - well give it a shot......**

"Hey, Bells! I'm so glade your awake, here." He said reaching into the area beside us and pulling out a McDonald's bag and a then handed it to me. "I got you a milk shake to...its in the ice chest in the back seat." He said and I chuckled. He always kept the ice chest in the back seat, for when he went fishing but this was odd. I looked inside to see a chicken sandwich with a thing of fry's and some ketchup. I picked at a fry and sat up straighter.

Looking at the speed meter I was shocked to see he was speeding, almost 80 miles per hour and this was a 45 mile per hour road.

"Daddy...whats going on?" I asked and he looked at me sadly.

"Your mother died having the babies...there was nothing the doctors could do. That call I got was form the hospital telling me what had happened and that Phil was putting the babies up for adoption..." I snapped to look at him, anger coloring my features. That...he was trying to get rid of my baby siblings?

"I went off on them, told them to let me speak with him. I gave him a ultimatum...Though you don't know Phil isn't from the best background. His father killed three people before being caught and Phil's last girlfriend was declared missing only a year before he met your mother. I never approved of him...I told him I'd look into it deeper if he didn't cancel the adoption and stay with them until we got there." I felt proud of my father and a intense hatred for Phil. I had never once thought he was a bad person but now I was very worried, had he ever hurt my mother after I left? She had seemed almost scared for me to leave and when I refused to come home when in Phoenix last year she had seemed almost sad and relieved at the same time.

"Sleep Bella...I'll get us to the airport." He finally said, I ate a few more fry's and part of my sandwich before breathing in and letting the music wash over me and I fell into deep sleep.

**We've got to hold on to what we've got  
cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
For love - well give it a shot  
**

**Whooah, were half way there  
Livin on a prayer  
Take my hand and well make it - I swear  
Livin on a prayer **

**We've got to hold on ready or not  
You live for the fight when its all that you've got.....**

**

* * *

**

**Time Skip::::**

We arrived in Phoenix around noon the next day. I hesitantly got off the plane, gasping at the sunlight that made the area glow and was way warmer then Forks ever thought of getting. Charlie looked at me but just thought I was reacting to missing the sun. In reality I had realized if I went into the sun I was breaking my promise, I closed my eyes and pushed the slight guilt back and stepped out and into the sun. It almost stung my eyes at first, having not been in sunlight like this in almost a year.

"It's ok Bella...not let get a rental." He said and we walked to a rental across the street, I was almost shocked it was still there. I had thought it was closing last year from lack of business. They didn't have very nice cars and everyone wanted something pretty to drive around in. I was almost happy when Charlie chose a small green Toyota, also very amused. It wasn't a very manly car and I had openly ever seen him drive in the cruiser which seemed to put fear into the hearts of forks.

It only took us 40 minutes to get to the hospital and I winced. Hospitals always made me remember memories best left forgotten but I really had no choice. I walk into the building trilling behind Charlie who was almost running down the halls.

"Hello, I am looking for Doctor Yule..." Charlie asked the receptionist that was older, about 43 with bottle blond hair and a kind smile. It was very apparent she was a natural light Carmel haired women and her eyes were a striking hazel.

"Of course...Paging Doctor Yule, please report to the waiting room." She said as she spoke into the intercom. I was almost shocked, I didn't remember ever hearing a hospital paging anyone like that. I shook my head and walked to sit down laying my head against my dads chest. I was feeling like road kill and then I Jerked awake from cold hands shaking me.

I almost thought it was Carlisle in front of me, he was of similar build and height, and his hair was golden like his, the cold hands. As the image came back to me I saw it was not Carlisle and almost started crying. I had to move passed this.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Lyle Yule. Your father noticed you were having some..problems after arriving, and I told him I'd take care of you." He said smiling kindly. He was young, 30 at most, and he may have resembled Carlisle but Dr. Yule had a tanner skin and his eyes were a light blue. I opened my mouth to speak only to notice a tube, and I gagged. He looked concerned before taking the tube out and I coughed and he grabbed a glass of water.

I gulped it down and smiled softly. "What..What happened? Where is my father?" I asked and he walked around me and felt for my heart beat and other things before smiling and answering my questions.

"He went to take care of your mother arrangements and the Twins which I hear are your siblings. I am happy they will have a family to go too..I was adopted my myself and I never had a loving family because of it. I think you could describe them as trailer trash, as harsh as that is." He stopped and put his scope thing to my chest, "Phil Dwyer already left, Charlie is just looking after the twins until you wake up, said he didn't want to name them until you awoke...or decided anything big. As it is Phil refused to sign the birth certifacate as the mother." Dr. Yule said and I nodded.

"As for you, you were highly dehydrated and over worked. I'd say you haven't been eating properly for weeks or months. It amazing you can still function. Your eyes though..." He began but I cut him off.

"What about them?" I asked and he sighed handing me a mirror. I gasped, no longer were my eyes a nice dark chocolate brown but a weird brown/green color. They appeared a brown color in one glance but at a closer inspection they where a brownish emerald green color...but not bright as apposed so green eyes.

"As you know every new born baby has blue eyes and then at a few months they change or stay the same. It rare when someone doesnt have specks of unnoticed colors in there eyes, and like most your were finally mixed with emerald green. When all this stress and from these records the flu and pneumonia you had months ago this made you shut down and you eyes turned from mainly brown to a even mix. Think of it like a hazel, sometimes they will appear brown at others green." He said and though I only got some of it I nodded. I rested back and sighed, closing my eyes.

"I'll go get you father and sister's." He said and I almost didn't comprehend that he said I had 'Sister's'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Funeral : Life is Beautiful**

_**You can't quit until you try  
You can't live until you die  
You can't learn to tell the truth  
Until you learn to lie**_

_**You can't breathe until you choke  
You gotta laugh when you're the joke  
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive**_

**BPOV:**

Dr. Yule came back 10 minutes latter with a clipboard of paperwork and handed it to me along with a subscription. I looked at him confused.

"There vitamins, one is for you and the other is for the twin's...they'll need them to grow healthy, its amazing they lived being two month's premature....they both have under formed lungs. I suspect Asthma in the future." He said and I nodded and looked over the papers. There was a death certificate for Renee and looking at it I chocked on my sobs. I couldn't break now...I had to care for two others. I breathed in and then out, I didn't know if I could do this.

"You know, you remind me of my daughter." I heard my doctor speak softly and I looked up at him shocked. I had never known a doctor to be so personal when dealing with a patient, not even Carlisle had been.

"Your daughter? I'm sorry its just...you don't look old enough to be a father." I said and it was true. I knew by looking at him he was older then Carlisle physically but he didn't look older then 27. He smiled and laughed as he changed my I.V.

"Its good gene's...while most my family will look older then their years during their teenaged years they don't really start wrinkling till long into their 40's..I'm only 32 though, I had my daughter with my wife, Ella, when we were only 17." He stopped before pulling a chair up to my bed side, it was them I realized just how young he appeared.

"Her name was Mary – Anne, she looked a lot like my wife, long brown hair and my eyes." He stated smiling, his eyes becoming glazed like he was remembering something.

"Was?" I asked wearily. I just knew this was not a happy ending. He looked at me and sighed before running a hand through his blond hair.

"Was...she died two years ago." He said and I saw his eyes glisten with unshed tears. I decided to change the subject and looked down at the papers.

"Can I sign this as the Twins' parent? Or do I need to sign mom's name?" I asked, I didn't mind ether way but I really wanted to put my name. I knew I would need to raise them and eventually I'd move away from Charlie...the Twins would grow up only knowing me...the thought of them calling me mommy warmed me somehow and they seemed to push any thought of Edward and the Cullen's to the back of my mind. Odd, because I haven't even seen them yet.

"You can go ahead and sign as the mother....you'll need to see a social worker eventually though, to sign a adoption certificate...just in case something happens to them they know your not their birth mother." He said and then stood up and walked to the door. I watched as he walked out and spoke to a nurse with red hair and brown eyes, about the age of my father. She nodded and I used the pen he left to write my name on my mother death certificate and I noticed that he had already signed it.

I moved on to the twins' birth certificate, their foot prints were behind it and I smiled, they looked so small. Looking at the other info on their certificate I noticed they only weighed 3 pounds and 20 ounces. I almost chocked...so tiny. I breathed in and then I thought of names...they would need names.

"Bella, your father and sister's are here." I heard Dr. Yule say and he smiled before walking back out to give us some privacy. My dad was smiling softly with two babies in his arms. One was wrapped in light Purple and the other in light Pink. I smiled and noticed a band on each arm, a hospital band. He took the seat Dr. Yule had once sat in and handed me the Pink blanket. I 'awwed' and looked down at the baby that was snuggled close to my heart. She was so small...so beautiful.

I never knew how this could feel...I had never been around babies, my mother had never wished to be around them and until recently I had thought it was because she hated kids. I knew better now, she was jealous, envious...like Rosalie. I closed my eyes and waited for the pain but none came. I opened them and looked to see the baby had her eyes open, looking at me with clear blue eyes.

I wondered if they would change color?

"What should we name them Bells? Your mother always liked the name Rose." He said and I looked at him with a smile. He looked happier then I had seen him since I came to live with him. I could also see the sadness, but my mother never wanted anyone to cry for her, only remember her. I chuckled as the little pink blanketed baby grasped at my chest, I knew what she wanted but I couldn't help her there.

"Sorry baby, I don't have milk." I said and Charlie blushed softly and shook his head. I raised my other arm for the other baby and he lifted it into my arm. I held both babies to my chest and they fit perfectly. The other baby, who by looking at there bands I knew was baby number 1 and the Pink one was younger. I looked at each and finally smiled.

"Sarah Rosalie and Mary Alice Swan." I spoke and he looked at me. He raised a eyebrow at the middle names. I didn't think he knew that Edwards other sister was named Rosalie but he hadn't taken me for old fashioned names.

"Alice?" He asked and the pink baby giggled and did a baby clap. I knew then which one would be which. I nodded and Handed him the Purple blanketed one, now Sarah.

"Yes...the oldest will be Sarah Rosalie...Sarah for Jacob's mother and Renee's Mother, and Rosalie to mix Rose and your mother's name." I stopped as he looked at the baby and smiled and nodded bouncing her softly. I thought it would be better not to tell him it was also _HIS_ sister's first name.

"The youngest will be Mary Alice...after Dr. Yule's daughter, and Alice after...Alice." I said the last part sadly and he nodded. He loved Alice just as much as I did, he thought of her like the second daughter he had never gotten to have.

"Welcome home Sarah and Mary." He said and I smiled. Maybe my life would get better after this...I could do this and they would heal me. I thought looking to my sisters, now my daughters.

…**..................................................Time Skip**

**1 Week latter:::**

"…......She broke your throne, she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah....." I sang as I bathed the twins. I had finally been let out of the hospital two days ago and aloud to take the twins with me. Dr. Yule had given me his home number and information encase I ever needed anything, he had been very touched by me naming my youngest sister after his daughter.

I chuckled as Mary Alice; which Is what I usually called my baby. Charlie usually called her Ali or Mary. Sarah was my little Sarah bear or Rosie. Anyways Mary Alice splashed the water in the sink getting me wet. I shook my head and took a hold of Mary's hands. Sarah had giggled and looked to be amused. I was a firm believer that even though they were only a week old and babies they understood everything said to them.

"That isn't nice Mary Alice. Behave." I said sternly but with amusement in my voice. Charlie had been making the last arrangement for Renee's funeral, which was what I was readying them for. Charlie had gotten a hold of a social worker and thanks to him being a officer the paper work for the adoption was already being finalized. Charlie had decided since I was taking the role of mother he'd be the 'cool grandpa', his words not mine.

I lifted Mary Alice out of the water filled sink first, they were still such small babies but to make her giggle I made a grunting noise like she was super heavy, it worked on both ends. Almost as if it was rehearsed the twins both burst into giggles. I laid Mary on a pink towel that had her initials on it and did the same for Sarah, though Sarah's towel was purple. The initials were stitched in blue and green silk – Blue – Sarah, Green – Mary Alice.

I laid out their outfits. They both had a matching pink and brown jumper dress and a little body suit to go under it. Mary's was pink and said, Sugar and Spice and everything nice. While Sarah's was dark blue with the word Lucky on it. A brown and pink hat for Sarah and a pink hat with a kitten on it for Mary Alice, to finish the outfit was ballets booties, Sarah's were silver and Mary's were gold. I sighed and called out knowing Charlie would hear.

"Dad, can you come and put the twins into their cloths!?" I waited and not a minute latter Charlie came in. He had cleaned up, his hair was more healthy looking, and shorter...more brown but gray at the same time. The mustache he sported before was gone and he was clean shaven, all in all he looked 10 years younger.

"Sure Bells....go get ready yourself." He said and I nodded, kissed both the twins heads and left to the other bathroom to take a quick shower. I stayed under the hot water for no longer then 9 minutes before getting out, wrapping a towel around myself and looking at myself in the mirror.

I looked better then ever before. I had cut my hair a bit, in the months I had been like a zombie it had grown to my butt, and while here I had decided to get a hair cut. It now fell top the middle of my back in waves. It looked healthier now as well, my face wasn't a sad and my eyes held more light then before. The doctor had been wright about my eye color, I had started calling them Hazel, since they changed daily from a soft brown to a olive emerald green color. Though I had gotten multiple compliments about them. I was growing fond of the green/brown eyes....it made me all the more different from who I once was. Week...and defenseless.

I dropped the towel after sighing and pulled on my strapless black bra and my black panties before pulling on my little black spaghetti strapped dress. It was tight around the chest, was a scooped neck and showed off my chest and half my back as the straps crossed over each other in the back. It fell like a waterfall to just above my knees and was a contrast against my alabaster skin.

I Pulled on a pair of black patent bow ballet shoes, a silver heart locket with a big round emerald in the center. A pair of diamond stud earrings and a H&M Marine Blazer that I left unbuttoned for now..it was raining in phoenix, a rare occasion. I sprayed spritz of perfume my mother loved; a mix of flowers and fruits with stones like Amber. I dried my long hair and curled the ends before walking out of the bathroom and back into my room. I pulled out a little purse that once belonged to my mother. A gold chain like strap and a jean fabric. I slipped inside that a clip of money, about 20 fifty dollar bills, and a wallet that was black and had a key hole design, it housed my ID and credit card. I also placed a butterfly mirror inside that had once been my mothers.

I walked into the bathroom connected to my room and saw Charlie was finishing up with Sarah. I chuckled at his goofy face and he turned to look at me, both babies now secured in his arms. "You look nice Bella." He said and I smiled and pointed to the room.

"Out, I'll be ready in a moment. He obliged and left with Mary and Sarah before I walked over to the mirror and got out some make up. I slipped on some black liquid eye liner, some smokey Purple, silver and black eye makeup and a bit of dark pink lip gloss, called Twilight something. I finished in under 6 minutes and smacked my lips before smiling into the mirror.

"Its as good as its gonna get." I said and left the room.

**----------------------------------------------------TIME SKIP**

"We gather here today to lay to rest a wonderful women. She was a mother, a daughter, and wife and a friend...." I felt tears try to break free from my eyes and I closed them no longer listening to the priest. My father was trying to keep his tears in as well, and Mary and Sarah were asleep. I was thankful for this, I didn't really want them seeing our mother's pale face in her casket.

"She wouldn't want us to be sad." I heard him say and I leaned my head onto his shoulder. Everyone else was crying into handkerchiefs, or trying to make fake tears. I reconsigned a women, fake boobs the size of her head, and bleached blond hair in a dress better suited for a prom, bright blue with a pink and black boa. Bitch, I Thought as I rained my emotions in.

"Nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive." I said, a quote from my mother's favorite rock song...the only one she ever listened to.

Charlie nodded and chuckled.

"Will you swear on your life, That no one will cry at my funeral?" He quoted again and I chucked this time touching the twins' cheeks as they moved and made a odd sound.

"I swear." I didn't realize how soon those words would be brought into reality.

_**Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes  
And see that life is beautiful.  
Will you swear on your life,  
That no one will cry at my funeral?**_

_**Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes  
And see that life is beautiful.  
Will you swear on your life,  
That no one will cry at my funeral? **_

_**A/N:**_** Just so y'all know Bella and Jacob are close before she moved back to forks unlike in the movies and books. Though she did ditch him for the Cullen's which means they have to rekindle there friendship and latter romance. I am NOT a Jacob/Bella fan, Team Edward or Jasper or oh hell I enjoy reading about Bella being with each the Cullen men...that does include Carlisle..just not at the same time. **

**Anyways Charlie will be killed...I just don't know when...after Jake leaves her or before....I'll have to think that over. Those who love Charlie...please don't kill me...I love him too, but sometimes ya have to kill who ya have to kill. **

**The song was Life is Beautiful by SIXX A.M.**

**The one Bella was Singing to The twins was Hallelujah by Kate Voegele.**

**Pictures on Profile...so always keep a look out there.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Godfather and Mother**

**_Hello  
Hello  
Hello_**

**_Waking up at the start of the end of the world,  
But it's feeling just like every other morning before,  
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,  
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour  
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye  
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?_**

**_I believe the world is burning to the ground  
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Well I believe it all is coming to an end  
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come_**

**BPOV**

We stayed in Arizona for a few more days after the funeral. Mostly living in mom's house, going through her stuff. We decided to sell the house for 50,000 as it was a pretty impressive size; four bedrooms, two full baths, a living area, basement, and kitchen. We had not been to surprised to notice Phil moved out and taken a lot of the more expensive stuff. A lot of my mother's jewelry was missing as was some of her antiques.

I had been very angry at first but finding the safety deposit key under the floor board under her bed and seeing the more precious jewels in the box made me happier. Inside had been her wedding rings from when she had been married to Charlie and I made a point to put them on my right ring finger. We left for Washington almost two weeks latter on January 30th because of the twins only being a week old. It was a long drive, about five hours and as we arrived in Seattle we stopped for the night at a hotel.

Charlie even took us to the Space needle for dinner. I admit I had fun but I had been very scared about the height we were at. He had just laughed and ordered us a three course meal. It turned out to cost 400 dollars by the time we were finished and the only reason we could afford it was because of the money I had taken out of my savings before the funeral and of course the money in the bank from selling the house in Phoenix.

"Bella! You ready to head home." Charlie asked as he came into my the hotel room the next morning on February 1st. I was busy getting the Twins ready, Mary was dressed in a simple pink body suit and pair of pink pants, and Sarah had on a red body suit with a little red skirt; Both had on black booties.

"Almost dad, you can go ahead and put the twins in the cruiser." I said and handed him the twins. He smiled and left the room, we had traded the rental car back in when we arrived the night before and picked up the cruiser from the airport. I decided not to go to extreme on my appearance, I was just going home. I brushed my hair down and washed my face before throwing off my PJ's and putting on a Black long sleeved shirt over my blue lace bra and a pair of ratty jeans over my blue panties. Alice would not be amused I was sure.

The past week since getting the twins had made it easier for me to think of the Cullen's, the only one I tried my best to completely forget was..._him_. I shook my head and grabbed my purse off the bed and left the room for the car. Dad was putting the last bag inside the trunk and had fastened Mary Alice and Sarah into their car seats. I got into the passenger side and he got into the drivers seat before we pulled out and headed back to forks.

The ride was quiet. Things had changed a lot since the Cullen's left, I had been through hell and back since then. Charlie had to Indore my hell on earth, and now I was a Mom. I had talked to Charlie about this and he seemed so proud and happy. He knew I saw the Twins as my children, he didn't understand how or why my instincts seemed to awaken so suddenly but he knew were I got it from. My mother may not have passed her grace on to me, but she had given me my maternal instincts.

I don't know when but I fell asleep on the way home. It didn't seem like long before I was being shaken awake by a hot hand. I opened my eyes to see Jacob, he looked the same as always, long black hair and dark almost black eyes. His russet colored skin made him that much more beautiful.

"Jake...how, what?" I muttered almost in a whisper. I then realized the car was stopped and Charlie was out talking to Billy. I looked behind me to see the Twins asleep, and smiled before opening the car door almost rendering Jacob infertile. He jumped back like he had been burned before chuckling.

"Nice Bells...nice." He said and I looked down shyly and blushed. How embarrassing, I looked up at him and he furred his brow. I looked at him confused before he put him hand on my cheek and moved forward. I widened my eyes, what the hell was he doing?

"Your eyes....their green?" He said and I shook my head and laughed backing up at the same time.

"Yeah...its a medical thing...too much stress." I stuttered slightly. He just nodded and I opened the back door and unbuckled Sarah from her seat. I pulled her out and then turned so Jake could see what I was doing and he gasped.

"Bell...did you have something to tell me?" He asked and looked from me to Sarah. I chuckled and moved forward to hand the baby to him. He looked at me like I had two heads and backed up but I glared and he sighed before putting his arms out and I put the baby into his arms. Sarah awoke and looked at him with blue eyes. He seemed surprised, "This is my adopted daughter, Sarah Rosalie Swan. She is my biological half sister." I said and he looked at me and then back at the baby and smiled brightly.

"Well hello Sarah." I smiled at this and turned back to get Mary Alice who was now awake as well. I pulled her close to my chest and turned back to Jacob and he looked from Sarah, when he saw Mary he raised a eyebrow.

"Another one?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"This is Mary Alice Swan, Sarah's twin sister." I said and he chuckled and nodded his head. It was at this time Billy and Charlie had come around to us and Billy looked from me to Jacob with a smile.

"I see you too are getting along well..I am sorry about Renee Bella." Billy said and I smiled and thanked him before walking forward with Mary Alice. I lent down to let him hold her and he widened his brown eyes but smiled and let me put her in his arms.

"This one is Mary Alice...or Mary or Ali as dad as taken to calling her." I said and he laughed and nodded and smiled at the babies giggles.

"Well, Hello Mary Alice." He said and I laughed at the irony that it was the same thing Jake had said to Sarah.

"The one Jake has is Sarah Rosalie Swan." I spoke and he looked at me in disbelief.

"Sarah? Did you name them Bella?" He asked and I nodded, and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Yes..I named Sarah after your wife and Jake's mom and of course Renee's grandmother." I spoke softly and he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"That was very kind of you Bella..." He trailed off and I turned to Charlie.

"Why don't you all come in and I'll cook dinner for us." I said and everyone nodded. I chuckled and walked into the house, knowing Billy and Jake could bring the girls in safely.

**-------------------------------------------------------TIME SKIP**

**February 14th:**

It had been weeks since me and Charlie returned to forks, and though I still felt a hole in my heart from the Cullen's I no longer had nightmares, and when I did it wasn't as bad as it used to be. I had returned to school, everyone was shocked at my 180 turn about, and though I no longer hung around Lauren, or her two new brain dead girls, Samantha and Fern, Jessica and Angela had become my best friends. We had a good connection, Angela more so then Jess.

Mike was now seemingly over me...he was seriously dating Jessica now. Angela and Ben were going strong and I had asked Angie to be Sarah's godmother. She had been so happy and honored she had already set up play date's for Sarah, Mary, and her two twin brothers, Eric and Edwin...only two years of age. I was happy but shocked, I had never known Angela had younger siblings, especially one's so young. (Turns out Angela's mother was only 33, she had Angela as a teenager and married Angela's dad at 16.)

I had taken time to look into colleges, Plan B wright? I had gotten brochures for many colleges, UC Seattle, Yale, Dartmouth, Princeton, Harvard. Dad had been so happy he had almost turned into Albus Dumbledore with all the sparkling in his brown eyes. Today was probably one of my worse days...Valentine's day. It wasn't long after this day I had moved to this town, met the Cullen's and then had my heart broken into tiny pieces not six months latter.

"Bells? You ok?" I heard Angela ask as we walked around the male in Seattle. I had Mary Alice and Sarah in their two seat stroller. Jessica was in front of us with Mike hanging off his arm. You could tell she was in love, and though I couldn't say the same for Mike, it looked like he could come to love her just as much. It made me envious and I tried to squish that notion, I wanted to be happy for him.

"Yeah..just thinking..." I trailed off and she raised a eyebrow as she chewed on a Twizzlers.

"About what?" She asked and I sighed.

"The Cullen's...It will almost be a year that I moved here...over half a year since they left me." I said and she sighed and put her arm around my shoulder, patting my back. I was wearing a Blue Nuisette Batwing Top, the last gift my mother had gotten me, just never got around to sending me. A pair of skinny vintage white colored jeans that I had left in phoenix so Alice had never seen. Around my neck I wore a pendent that Jake gave me, with a symbol for the Quilette wolf pack. I guess I forgot to mention Jake was a werewolf. I had been spending a lot of time with him, and one day he got so mad at me I thought he was going to hit me.

It was not seconds latter Sam and Paul burst from the woods and grabbed him, just as they did he turned from my best friend into a very big wolf. I was shocked and bit scared. Go figure, I could handle Vampire's but throw in a little wolf and I take three days to handle it.

"Don't worry Bell..they weren't worth your time." Angela said and I smiled, if only she knew it was the other way around. Angela was wearing a two in one sweater shirt in crimson red and white, a jean skirt, her rosary was around her neck and a pare of earrings finished the outfit with a pare of swede ankle length black boots.

"Thanks Angie....what do you think about getting a bite at the Pizza place." I asked and was headed on to the only place to eat in the mall.

**------------------------------------------Time Skip:**

I got home around six that afternoon, Sarah and Mary were fast asleep. I was very happy that they were not loud babies, as it was I didn't get great sleep at night. As I unlocked the door I jumped when it was pulled open for me. Inside was Jake, he had grown since he first phased, her was tall, 6'3 give or take, huge muscles, but no where near as huge as Emmett's and his once long hair was cut in a crew cut I think could describe it best. He didn't looked like the 16 year old boy I knew he was but a adult in their mid 20's.

"Jake! You about gave me a heart attack." I said my hand had flown to my chest out of reflex. He smirked and took my bags from me, there was only three but it was causing me problems as I had to hold only the twins' stroller as well. I followed him in and was shocked to see the house cleaner then I remembered it, he had steered me clear of the living room and I just laughed and took the twins out of the stroller and followed him up the stairs so I could put them into their cribs.

After that I looked at him and I asked a curious look over my face.

"What's going on?" He smiled the bright smile that made the sun want to come out. I smiled back unable to stop myself and he pulled me down stairs. I was shocked when he pulled out a midnight blue blind fold and turned to me. I shook my head but he just laughed and gave me puppy dog look, with his wide dark brown eyes it was hard not to give in.

"No funny business." I spoke and he chuckled and said, in the way it was easy for her.

"Sure, Sure." I turned and he secured it to my eyes, I let him steer me around and then we stopped at what I knew was our living room. I smelt the sent of Roses', Babies breath, and Sun flowers. Odd, I thought before he put his hand at the tie and pulled it lose. The sight I saw shocked me.

The furniture was gone, only a round table, a vase with flowers in it, and two seats. On the table was a plate with pasta and a wine glass and a bottle of wine. Also on the table was a heart shaped cake. I didn't understand what was happening until Jake led me to the table.

"Bella...I know this year had been hell for you." He began as he pulled my chair out for me. I blushed, I never realized what a gentlemen he could be.

"I also realize that this may be too soon...but I really like you. I know I love you..I may not be in love with you right now, but give us time." He continued and I almost stopped breathing. I got up and saw the hurt on his face, I just smiled, he thought I was mad.

"Bella, will you be my girlfriend, my valentine?" He asked after swallowing and I smiled but then stopped. Was I ready for this? It wasn't long ago that they had left me, but then again he said he didn't love me. I was just a human pet, he would never love me. I looked into his hopeful face and I put my hands into his. I leaned up, being only 5'4 ½ I had a long way to lean before I could reach him. I kissed him and felt as sparks shot through me.

I was in love, but I did love him.

"I would like nothing more." I said after we pulled apart. He smiled and I smiled back, I sat down and he went around to do the same. We spent the rest of the time talking and getting to know each other.

**_It's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone  
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
It was cool cool, it was just all cool  
Now it's over for me and it's over for you  
Well it's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone  
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
Well it was cool cool, it was just all cool  
Now it's over for me and it's over for you_**

**_I believe the world is burning to the ground  
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end  
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come  
Let's see how far we've come_**

**A/N: I hope everyone liked this chapter. It took me the longest...three days. I HATE writing Jake and Bella Love fluff but for you all, here it is. I hope it does all you JACOB/BELLA fans justice. In future chapter I shall dystroy Jacob...MWAHAHAHAH...*cough* Sorry. Got carried away. **

**Anywho....**

**The song was How far we've come by Matchbox 20.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: La Push me off a Cliff**

**_The good life is  
What I need  
Too many people  
Stepping over me  
The only thing that's  
Been on my mind  
Is the one thing I need before I die_**

**_All I want is a little of  
The good life  
All I need is to have  
A good time  
The good life_**

**BPOV:**

It had been three months since me and Jacob had started dating. He had become almost a father to the twins, but he was young himself, so he called himself the cool Godfather, and he was. Legally he was the Godfather of Sarah while Sam - the one who had found me in the Forrest - was Mary's godfather. I had also gotten to know The pack, Leah and me hadn't gotten along at first but when she heard my story she almost instantly became my sister.

Which really wasn't far form the truth. Sue and Charlie had gotten close since Harry Clearwater died in February and were engaged. I was very happy for them and Charlie had already gotten money to buy us a new house. It was on the boarder of La Push, and had three stories. We had used a good amount of the money from Phoenix to get it, I had my own room, as did my two new siblings and the nursery was right next to my room. Sue turned out to be quit the decorator and as such had taken it upon herself to decorate the house along with Emily and Leah. I of course offered my help when I had time but with school almost ending, graduation and the Twins to care for it wasn't easy for me.

Me and Jake were in Love, it was obvious to everyone but Leah was always so concerned about us, mainly me. I could understand that but I wasn't worried, I knew I should be but Jake even said it was unlikely he'd ever imprint. I spent so much time in La Push now me and the others didn't spend as much time together, Jess didn't care much, she and Mike had been going at it like bunnies, they were now engaged. I had the strangest feeling she was pregnant.

"Bella, why don't you go out? Have some fun, Jake is worried about you." Sue, my soon to be stepmother said from my door. With final's in two days I was studying my head off. I had been so worried about college the past month, I didn't know if my grades could get me into a good school. Leah herself hadn't gotten into the schools she wanted but that was for a different reason, and so she had missed her chance at a scholarship.

"I can't, the Twins need me and I have to study." I said and she walked forward and pushed my book closed. You have studied for three weeks now, almost none stop. Go have fun, I will watch the twins." Sue said and I smiled and stood up. She nodded happily and I walked over to my new closet. We had moved in just two weeks before and I was loving the house. My room had midnight blue walls, a black ceiling, cream carpet, a walk in closet, a window across from my bed, and the same furniture from my old room. The only other difference was my bedding was no longer purple and white, but deep brown, green and pink.

I picked out a long sleeved black shirt and a pair of dark jeans. I pulled on my black boots, with flat heels, and a long hip length leather jacket Leah had gifted to me. I walked over to my desk and got out my wolf pack necklace and a silver heart shaped locket which Jake gave me when we got together on valentine's day.

I spent the rest of the day on the beach with Emily and Leah. Soon though they had to return home for dinner and instead of heading home myself I wondered around. I really wanted to find something, and I knew what as I walked around the woods. I wanted to find the meadow. Just one more time I'd like to see it...one more time.

I got into my truck and drove to the spot I remembered Edward taking me and began to walk. I was trying to stay on a path so I didn't get lost, but soon enough I was just that, Lost. I pushed aside some weeds and tripped before tumbling through to a clearing. Looking around I saw just what I was looking for, the Meadow. The disappointment was nearly as instantaneous as the recognition. I sank down right where I was – not hard since I was already on the ground - kneeling there at the edge of the clearing, beginning to gasp.

What was the point of going any farther? Nothing lingered here. Nothing more than the memories that I could have called back whenever I wanted to, if I was ever willing to endure the corresponding pain–the pain that had me now, had me cold. There was nothing special about this place without him. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd hoped to feel here, but the meadow was empty of atmosphere, empty of everything, just like everywhere else. Just like my nightmares had been since the beginning.

My head swirled dizzily, and I couldn't help but feel relief that I had, At least I'd come alone. I felt a rush of happiness and regret...something I couldn't place as I thought of the reason why.

If I'd discovered the meadow with Jacob…well, there was no way I could have disguised the abyss I was plunging into now. How could I have explained the way I was fracturing into pieces, the way I had to curl into a ball to keep the empty hole from tearing me apart? It was so much better that I didn't have an audience. Jake would have never understood, he was so happy these days and he didn't want to hear the Cullen's names, about as much as I wanted to actually.

And I wouldn't have to explain to anyone why I was in such a hurry to leave, either. Jacob would have assumed, after going to so much trouble to locate the stupid place, I would want to spend more than a few seconds here. But I was already trying to find the strength to get to my feet again, forcing myself out of the ball so that I could escape. There was too much pain in this empty place to bear – I would crawl away if I had to...and I may have to.

How lucky that I was alone!

Alone. I repeated the word with grim satisfaction as I wrenched myself to my feet despite the pain. At precisely that moment, a figure stepped out from the trees to the north, some thirty paces away.

A dizzying array of emotions shot through me in a second. The first was surprise; I was far from any trail here, and I didn't expect company. Then, as my eyes focused on the motionless figure, seeing the utter stillness, the pallid skin, a rush of piercing hope rocked through me. It shocked me so bad that I lurched forward a few paces before stopping.

I suppressed it viciously, fighting against the equally sharp lash of agony as my eyes continued to the face beneath the black hair, the face that wasn't the one I wanted to see...at least I think I wanted to see it? I shook my head and then felt the next emotion; fear. This was not the face I grieved for, but it was close enough for me to know that the man facing me was no stray hiker.

And finally, in the end, I felt recognition.

"Laurent!" I cried in surprised pleasure. It was an irrational response. I probably should have stopped at fear. I probably should have never moved, I probably should have never came to the Meadow.

Laurent had been one of James' coven when we'd first met. He hadn't been involved with the hunt that followed – the hunt where I was the quarry – but that was only because he was afraid; I was protected by a bigger coven than his own. It would have been different if that wasn't the case – he'd had no compunctions, at the time, against making a meal of me. Of course, he must have changed, because he'd gone to Alaska to live with the other civilized coven there, the other family that refused to drink human blood for ethical reasons. The other family like…but I couldn't let myself think the name. I was already in to deep, I needed to think rationally.

The meadow was a magic place again. A darker magic than I'd expected, to be sure, but magic all the same. Here was the connection I'd sought. The proof, however remote, that –somewhere in the same world where I lived – he did exist. I almost chuckled, I hadn't even realized I was looking for proof.

It was impossible how exactly the same Laurent looked. I suppose it was very silly and human to expect some kind of change in the last year. But there was something…I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Bella?" he asked, looking more astonished than I felt.

"You remember." I smiled. It was ridiculous that I should be so elated because a vampire knew my name. Inside I was screaming and outside...outside I was almost smiling.

He grinned. "I didn't expect to see you here." He strolled toward me, his expression bemused.

"Isn't it the other way around? I do live here. I thought you'd gone to Alaska."

He stopped about ten paces away, cocking his head to the side. His face was the most beautiful face I'd seen in what felt like an eternity. I studied his features with a strangely greedy sense of release. Here was someone I didn't have to pretend for – someone who already knew everything I could never say. Something didn't feel wright though, and I found myself taking in even more details.

"You're right," he agreed. "I did go to Alaska. Still, I didn't expect…When I found the Cullen place empty, I thought they'd moved on."

"Oh." I bit my lip as the name set the raw edges of my wound throbbing. It took me a second to compose myself. Laurent waited with curious eyes.

"They did move on," I finally managed to tell him. Instantly I felt fresh fear and I thought maybe I should have lied.

"Hmm," he murmured. "I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?"

His eyes were innocent of any intended offense. The blunt question though brought a sour taste to my mouth...I hadn't thought of it like that, but, no I wouldn't let myself continue.

I smiled wryly. "Something like that."

"Hmm," he said, thoughtful again.

At that precise moment, I realized why he looked the same – too much the same. After Carlisle told us that Laurent had stayed with Tanya's family, I'd begun to picture him, on the rare occasions that I thought of him at all, with the same golden eyes that the…Cullen's – I forced the name out, wincing – had. That all good vampires had.

I took an involuntary step back, and his curious, dark red eyes followed the movement. I probably should have played it cool._ 'Great job Swan!'_ My conscious berated myself.

"Do they visit often?" he asked, still casual, but his weight shifted toward me.

"_Lie,_" the beautiful velvet voice whispered anxiously from my memory.

I started at the sound of his voice, I looked around and stumbled back more. Laurent seemed to be taken aback by my sudden movement and wide eyes. I breathed in and out, I was going crazy, I hadn't heard him. I hadn't.

Non the less, I did what the voice said to do.

"Now and again." I tried to make my voice light, relaxed. "The time seems longer to me, I imagine. You know how they get distracted…" I was beginning to babble. I had to work to shut myself up. Though then again, If that distracted him, why not. Maybe, just Maybe Jake would come...good luck with that I thought to myself.

"Hmm," he said again. "The house smelled like it had been vacant for a while…"

_"You must lie better than that, Bella_," the voice urged. I jumped again but this time I reconsigned the voice and my face must have showed great pain and shock because Laurent looked at me like he was contemplating asking me if I was ok. I felt my lips form into a thin line in anger, I didn't want his voice in my head, but I had a bigger problem at the moment.

So I tried. "I'll have to mention to Carlisle that you stopped by. He'll be sorry they missed your visit." I pretended to deliberate for a second. "But I probably shouldn't mention it to… Edward, I suppose –" I barely managed to say his name, and it twisted my expression on the way out, ruining my bluff, " – he has such a temper…well, I'm sure you remember. He's still touchy about the whole James thing." I rolled my eyes and waved one hand dismissively, like it was all ancient history, but there was an edge of hysteria to my voice. I wondered if he would recognize what it was.

"Is he really?" Laurent asked pleasantly…skeptically.

I kept my reply short, so that my voice wouldn't betray my panic. "Mm-hmm." but in my head I was in hysterics, screaming was all I could hear up there.

Laurent took a casual step to the side, gazing around at the little meadow. I didn't miss that the step brought him closer to me. In my head, the voice responded with a low snarl. I closed my eyes for a split second, then snapped them open. What a stupid Idea, first rule, never take your eyes off your enemy. Thank you television. I almost chuckled, I was doing that a lot today.

"So how are things working out in Denali? Carlisle said you were staying with Tanya?" My voice was too high. _'Great way to distract him Swan...make small talk.'_ I couldn't tell if my subconscious was sarcastic or serious.

The question made him pause. "I like Tanya very much," he mused. "And her sister Irina even more…I've never stayed in one place for so long before, and I enjoy the advantages, the novelty of it. But, the restrictions are difficult…I'm surprised that any of them can keep it up for long." He smiled at me conspiratorially. "Sometimes I cheat."

I couldn't swallow. My foot started to ease back, but I froze when his red eyes flickered down to catch the movement. _'Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...god.'_ I berated myself as I felt my eyes tear up but pushed the emotion away.

"Oh," I said in a faint voice, "Jasper has problems with that, too."

"_Don't move,_" the voice whispered. I tried to do what he instructed. It was hard; the instinct to take flight was nearly uncontrollable. Part of me though didn't want to listen to him, he had left me, and now his voice was invading my space. How dare he.

"Really?" Laurent seemed interested. "Is that why they left?"

"No," I answered honestly. "Jasper is more careful at home."

"Yes," Laurent agreed. "I am, too."

The step forward he took now was quite deliberate.

"Did Victoria ever find you?" I asked, breathless, desperate to distract him.

It was the first question that popped into my head, and I regretted it as soon as the words were spoken.

Victoria – who had hunted me with James, and then disappeared – was not someone I wanted to think of at this particular moment.

But the question did stop him.

"Yes," he said, hesitating on that step. "I actually came here as a favor to her." He made a face. "She won't be happy about this."

"About what?" I said eagerly, inviting him to continue. He was glaring into the trees, away from me. I took advantage of his diversion, taking a furtive step back.

He looked back at me and smiled – the expression made him look like a black-haired angel.

"About me killing you," he answered in a seductive purr.

I staggered back another step. The frantic growling in my head made it hard to hear. _'Oh..SHUT UP!'_ I yelled at Edward's invading voice.

"She wanted to save that part for herself," he went on blithely. "She's sort of…put out with you, Bella."

"Me?" I squeaked.

He shook his head and chuckled. "I know, it seems a little backward to me, too. But James was her mate, and your Edward killed him."

Even here, on the point of death, his name tore against my unhealed wounds like a serrated edge.

Laurent was oblivious to my reaction. "She thought it more appropriate to kill you than Edward – fair turnabout, mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land for her, so to speak. I didn't imagine you would be so easy to get to. So maybe her plan was flawed –apparently it wouldn't be the revenge she imagined, since you must not mean very much to him if he left you here unprotected."

Another blow, another tear through my chest. I tried my hardest to think of a way to get out of this...I had to, Charlie needed me, My babies needed me!

Laurent's weight shifted slightly, and I stumbled another step back.

He frowned. "I suppose she'll be angry, all the same."

"Then why not wait for her?" I choked out.

A mischievous grin rearranged his features. "Well, you've caught me at a bad time, Bella. I didn't come to this place on Victoria's mission – I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell… simply mouthwatering."

Laurent looked at me with approval, as if he meant it as a compliment.

"_Threaten him,_" the beautiful delusion ordered, his voice distorted with dread. I didn't wish to oblige the damn voice, but I didn't want to let Laurent know I had been lying to him before.

"He'll know it was you," I whispered, almost angrily. "You won't get away with this."

"And why not?" Laurent's smile widened. He gazed around the small opening in the trees. "The scent will wash away with the next rain. No one will find your body – you'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to investigate. This is nothing personal, let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst."

"_Beg,_" my hallucination begged. I scoffed, I didn't want to beg...but I would. Not for the voice of my past lover, but for my daughter's, my family.

"Please," I gasped.

Laurent shook his head, his face kind. "Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

"Am I?" I mouthed, faltering another step back.

Laurent followed, lithe and graceful.

"Yes," he assured me. "I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…" He shook his head with a slow movement, almost as if in disgust. "I swear you'd be thanking me for this."

I stared at him in horror. Ether way I was in danger.

He sniffed at the breeze that blew threads of my hair in his direction. "Mouthwatering," he repeated, inhaling deeply.

I tensed for the spring, my eyes squinting as I cringed away, and the sound of Edward's furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head. His name burst through all the walls I'd built to contain it. Edward, Edward, Edward. I was going to die. It shouldn't matter if I thought of him now. Edward, I love you.

Through my narrowed eyes, I watched as Laurent paused in the act of inhaling and whipped his head abruptly to the left. I was afraid to look away from him, to follow his glance, though he hardly needed a distraction or any other trick to overpower me. I was too amazed to feel relief when he started slowly backing away from me. I took this chance to turn and run as fast as I could. I had no idea where I was going, but anywhere was better then here.

I ran, praying to god to allow me a sudden bout of grace. It seemed to be working, I was able to focus and jump fallen twigs, tree limbs, and it almost felt like I was flying. I had never felt or been so graceful. All things like this have to end though, and It did as I turned to see Laurent following me, and a streak of fire red ahead of him. I winced, Victoria.

I tripped but got up and almost staggered into a area I reconsigned as the La Push cliffs. I ran until I was at the edge were I gasped and stumbled back. I turned only to see Victoria. She was as beautiful as always, like a ferocious cat...A tigress.

"Hello Bella...are you ready to pay for what your mate did to mine." She almost seemed to hiss, her eyes bright red. I knew she had recently fed..I was shacking now. I tried to reign in my emotions and took a step back as she took a step forward. I gasped and stumbled as I realized I was backing up even closer to the edge, rocks crumbled and fell and my stomach plummeted.

"He isn't my mate...I don't have a mate." I tried to tell her but she just laughed and stepped forward. I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I turned and with a look over my shoulder I said icily, "Screw you, Bitch." Then I Jumped.

As I did I heard howls and a voice, I knew to be Jake's scream.

"BELLA!!" I hit the water with a smack, it hurt but not as bad as the pain of my head hitting a rock, I then lost consciousness.

**_Hold on, hold on  
I always wanted it this way  
I never wanted it this way  
Hold on, hold on  
I always wanted it this way  
We didn't ask for it this way  
I always wanted this way_**

**_All I want is a little of  
The good life  
All I need is to have  
A good time  
The good life_**

**A/N: I hope everyone liked this chapter. The Laurent Bella Scene is the original form the book, except for some dialog and personal thoughts of Bella's I added. I think if you have read the book they are easy to spot. Wounder what will happen to Bella? HAHA..**

**Song is The good Life by Three days grace**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Life is more the just the games we are playing.**

_**Dear loved one, please listen, this might be the last chance I get, **_

_**I'm sorry I left you, I'm  
living in a world of regret, don't cry if you can hear me, **_

_**I never meant to hurt you dearly,  
I'm so wrong sincerely, don't stop take life seriously.**_

_**These are the last words I'm ever gonna get to say to you, **_

_**when everything falls away from you  
take these words and know the world is not worth leaving .**_

_**There's so much I've done wrong, since I've left it hit me so strong,**_

_**take my hand and let's**_

_**walk through all the times I've lied and hurt you, **_

_**those people, please love them, don't hate them, **_

_**we're not above them, you can have everything but have nothing.**_

_**Listen I've got to tell  
you something.. **_

**BPOV:**

I was least it felt like I was floating, my chest felt like someone was pounding on it and I felt like my lungs were going to combust in on themselves. I slowly tried opening my eyes on to find I wasn't floating anymore, it was white, everything was white. I almost had to close my eyes again from the brightness of the room.

"Baby..wake up." A motherly voice said from in front of me and I felt my eyes shoot open. I almost thought it was Esme, but in front of me was my mother. She had longer hair, it was shoulder length and wavy, with blond highlights and her brown eyes were wide and happy. She looked almost, younger then before and she was dressed in a light purple/white dress and golden wings graced her back. I gasped, my mother was a angel? Or was I imagining this, was I dead.

"Yes baby, your dead..at least for now." She said as if reading my mind. She giggled and helped me up before pulling me into a giant hug.

"Oh how you've grown...even if it was only a year. I heard about the Cullen's...don't worry baby everything will work out in the end. This wasn't supposed to happen though, this wasn't your destiny. He should have never left you...but when he did, he made the fate's change their minds,,,its all so complicated." She said and I smiled. She was still just as hair brained.

"Have you...been.." I didn't know how to phrase my question but she smiled and answered, seeming to know what I wanted to say.

"Been watching you and the twins...Charlie?" She said the last name with a unfounded love I had never heard her speak of before. She laughed at my face and nodded and she led me to a couch also in white that I didn't remember being there before.

"I am so happy with you, so proud. I had never thought this would happen, but everything happens for a reason. I think I had them so they could be your will to live. No," She stopped me from speaking and smiled a tear falling down her face. "I was never meant to raise them, my destiny was to have you, to raise you, Mary and Sarah – by the way I love the names – were always meant to help you. They are your new destiny, not to say the old one has expired, its just being reformed and will meet up with your destiny along the way. Confusing but true." She said and I felt oddly proud, I had never heard my mother speak with such wisdom.

"I don't understand much of that, but I guess I'm not meant to?" I said sounding almost like I was asking a question. She laughed and reach under her dress to pull out a necklace. It was simply a crucifix on a rosary style necklace with moonstone crafted beads. She handed it to me and held my closed fist in her own hand, the crucifix safe inside my closed fist.

"Its blessed, it will protect you...Bella there is something else I need to tell you." She said as she sat up straighter. I blinked and looked at her. What could she possibly need to tell me.

"Baby I always knew Edward was a vampire. Let me explain, your great grandmother was a hunter." She said and I looked at her wide eyed.

"A hunter is simply a human who has means to hunt the supernatural. The best way I can explain it is through the new TV series, Supernatural. There was a reason I laughed every time it came on. The person who wrote that story was obviously from a hunter family himself. He did change things, like the vampire's on the series...but everything else is fact. Remember that and look in the attic at the house in forks....I left a chest with stuff from my grandmother, her old hunting research and what not." She said and I looked at her, I was sure I had stopped breathing, but didn't she say I was dead.

"Why are you telling me this? Aren't I dead?" I asked and she smiled and chuckled before patting my cheek.

"Only for now...have a wonderful life baby, you'll be a wonderful mother to the twins...its in your blood." Renee said and I felt my body jerk, I was floating again, it was black though.

"Time of death : May 20th 2007." I heard a voice say, and I heard crying.

"No, not my baby girl." This shocked me. Charlie, he had called me baby girl...he hadn't called me that since I was almost 8 years old. I wasn't dead...I felt as someone lifted a sheet up and just as they went to lower it I let my hand twitch, more like forced it to twitch.

"Wait! Doctor she's moving her hand!" I heard my dad call and I heard rushing just as this was happening I jolted forward, gasping for breath my eyes flashing open multiple time before deciding weather to stay closed or opened.

"Its a miracle...she's alive." I opened my eyes once more and looked to my left. I reconsigned the doctor as Dr. Snow, he had been the doctor who cared for me when the Cullen's left. He had graying hair and soft brown eyes, he was at least in his 40's. I looked to my side and saw Charlie and Sue, Seth and Leah as well. Leah had tears running down her cheeks, her russet colored skin a sharp contrast to mine or even Charlie's, and her long black hair and blue eyes. She was one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever met. Seth was just as dark skinned as his sister, with short black hair and though he was only 14 he looked older, like most the pack did. He looked like he had been crying as well.

Sue was almost a older version of Leah, but a inch shorter at 5'8 and her hair was short to her shoulders and her eyes were brown, a almost silver/brown. Standing next to pale Charlie made him and Sue look like a odd couple, but it was easy to see they loved each other.

"Bella, what were you thinking?" Charlie asked and I chuckled and lied through my teeth.

"That I didn't want to be bear food." Charlie's eyes widened and he hugged me. One by one my family members hugged me, Doctor Snow checking me over now and then and putting in a new IV. Finally it was just me and Jake. He knelt on my left side pulling my hands to his lips, kissing the knuckles which were bandaged.

"What happened to Victoria an Laurent?" I asked after being sure everyone was gone. I didn't want Charlie to get involve in this. He frowned then smirked a bit before stroking my hair, my forehead was also bandaged so it was a little awkward.

"Paul an Sam took care of Laurent...he was the darker skinned one right?" I nodded and continued, "The Female, Victoria, she got away." He said and and I could tell it was eating him up inside the fact he had not been able to kill the Red haired bitch.

"Bella...I know this is sudden, feel free to say no..." He trailed off and my stomach ached with butterfly's. What was he doing, I thought as he rummaged in his pockets. He pulled out a small black box and flipped it open. In it was a beautiful white gold diamond ring, the middle diamond almost put me in the mind of a rose, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Isabella Marie Swan will you marry me?" I think I stopped breathing. Could I really get married, it was so soon. I did love Jacob but did I love him enough? I looked at him, his dark brown eyes, his russet skin, his jet black crew cut hair. He was my sun, my love, my new life. I couldn't sit around and wait for Edward to return when I knew he never wanted me to begin with. I had to move on and I wanted to move on with Jacob. I clinched my right fist and then looked down to see the crucifix my mother had put in my hand, so It wasn't a dream.

"Yes, I'll marry you," I began and he smiled and took my hand and slid the engagement ring on my ring finger. "You'll have to tell Charlie and Sue thought." I said and he paled before I burst into laughter.

…**.........................................................TIME SKIP**

**June 12th 2007:**

Charlie had taken our engagement well, Sue and him had finally had the wedding and it was beautiful, small but beautiful. Billy had been shocked, he was worried about if his son ever imprinted but Jacob was convinced that it would never happen. I wanted to believe him and it was why I didn't show anyone my inner worries, what if he did? I didn't want to make him stay with me, and if he imprinted in the future then I would allow him to go.

Emily who had been married to Sam for two months already was happy for me and Jacob, and she herself was expecting a baby in eight months. We were all exited, and I had brought Mary Alice and Sarah down countless times to help her prepare, she would watch the twins when me and Jacob needed alone time. We had decided before not to wait to have sex, I didn't want to because I didn't want to give Edward any satisfaction knowing I had waited like a good little girl like he had wanted me to when I tried seducing him. Not to mention I loved Jacob, not that he wasn't Igor but I had to pretty much jump him to get him to do it. After a awkward first time we were almost going at like rabbits, or wolves. We of course were careful, I didn't want any children for a long time, I had two babies at the moment as it was.

I also made sure too return back to the house in forks before it was sold and retrieved my great grandmother Cynthia's trunk from the attic. I also bought the complete box sets of the TV series supernatural as I remembered mom saying most of it was based on fact. I had greatly enjoyed Dean's wit and sarcasm, and Sam wasn't bad to look at. Over all I had learned a lot. Rock salt repelled evil, Dead mans blood was deadly to vampire's and demons and spirits were real.

My mother wasn't crazy after all, and it appeared Danger magnetism was hereditary. All in all I learned something in the days I studied up my heritage; House rules buddy, driver picks the music, Shotgun shuts his cake-whole. I found in the last month and a half I was watching TV a lot more and enjoying the brighter side of life, I was finally acting like a 18 year old. Though I didn't ditch my responsibilities, when I was with the twins I was their mother and I left crazy Bella in the background.

I had started wearing the crucifix everywhere, and had placed a ring of rock salt around our new house, I didn't think it would keep out Victoria but the small spell, yes I said spell, would. It wasn't until June I told the pack about what I had found out when I was dead for those...two minutes give or take. To put it lightly I had to show them my grams' diary and findings. The process of getting some things, like dead mans blood was not easy, and it consisted of homeless men who had died recently. After trying an failing to get it myself Sam and Jake had taken over.

I kept it in container's in a small fridge that was locked with a code only I knew. I had used the last of the money from phoenix to get it installed. Though I had no interest in actual hunting, these things seemed to find me so I learnt all I could. It seemed that though Hunters were human, we were smarter, wiser, and had better use of our senses then normal humans. We also aged very slowly, so I could be 35 and look 25-30 counting on our genes. Though we were by no way immortal, the extra strength though was nice, I was slightly worried though. I had more strength I found then any hunter ever recorded, and my grams' did record that kind of thing.

I could hold my own against Sam, a werewolf who was training me in combat. I needed to learn to fight and he and Leah had volunteered. I came out of my thoughts as my name was called. I looked up to the podium and smile before going up to get my diploma and then walked off. Leah and Charlie and everyone all hugged me an I took Mary Alice and Sarah into my arms and cuddled them, kissing their heads.

"Did you like seeing momma get her diploma?" I asked softly and they giggled. Every laughed an we headed home. Looking back on the year I have had, I was surprised I wasn't insane.

_**Last words I'll ever really get to say to you  
So listen very carefully to what I'm saying  
Life is more than just the games you're playing  
If there was ever one thing  
I could ever get across to you  
I'd tell you not to say the things you do  
And tell my mother that I love her too  
And no matter what life pulls ya through (no!)  
You've got what it takes to make it through  
And if I was you, I'd get on my knees and pray  
Thank God in the morning for another day  
coz these are the last words  
I'm ever gonna get to say to you  
When everything falls away from you  
Take these words  
And know the world is not worth leaving**_

_**Last words I'll ever really get to say to you  
So listen very carefully to what I'm saying  
Life is more than just the games you're playing  
Life is more than just the games you're playing **_

_**

* * *

**_**A/N: Well here is chapter 7, it didn't exactly turn out as I hoped but my little sister has fallen for this story and she may murder me if I don't post it soon. Since I live with the little Bella Clone with a backbone – ironically where this Bella gets her OOC personality from – I am afraid of her more then you guys, lol. Anyways the next chapter may not be very long...more of a filler chapter. Book 1 is almost to a end, and this is NOT a Supernatural Cross, I just needed some way to help Bella fend off the Vampire's after her, especially once Jake leaves her. **

**Bella is also HUMAN, just with perks from having Hunter heritage. I will be doing lots of research on myths and stuff so don't be surprised if I mess with SM's Vampire's. Until next time, Au Revvior -I think I spelled that wrong...oh well you get the point. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: This is Halloween!**

**Boys and girls of every age  
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?**

**Come with us and you will see  
This, our town of Halloween**

**This is Halloween, this is Halloween  
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night**

**This is Halloween, everybody make a scene  
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright  
It's our town, everybody scream  
In this town of Halloween **

…**...**

**BPOV: October 31st 2008**

Months came and went, and I had learned all I could from the Pack. Sam had taught me the most, but even he couldn't teach me anymore. I was certain if I went for a belt in martial arts I'd be a black belt by now if not really close to it. I had been right about Jess being pregnant, she and Mike had married on June 23rd, a few weeks after graduation and I could see the love they shared for each other. Jess was now five months pregnant. The girls had gotten so big and they both still shared blue eyes, but it looked like Sarah's were darkening each day. There hair was brown, but unlike mine it looked more like my mothers, a lighter brown with blondish highlights.

Leah had imprinted...oddly enough it was on Paul. It was a delayed reaction and no one could be sure why, the good news was, Paul had imprinted on Leah, but had kept it a secret until she had imprinted on him one day at a barbeque in La Push. Angela had left for Seattle in September, right after my 19th birthday, and Ben had followed her. They would be attending UC Seattle. I had gotten into Dartmouth, UC Seattle, Princeton and Harvard. I was happy about this, but I wasn't sure where I wished to go, if I could go. I didn't want to leave my babies behind, and I didn't wish to leave Jake. Jake was only 16, almost 17 (His birthday was in January.)

Being engaged was something she had not thought could feel so..new, so warm. She had fears at first, but who wouldn't. Her mother hadn't been married long when she divorced her first husband (A teenaged mistake at 15) and then her marriage to Charlie at 19 had only lasted seven or eight years. I hadn't told Jake any of my fears, he would just think me crazy. I had read and mesmerized each of my great grans books and I was happy to think I was making my mother and grandmother, my great grandmother all proud.

I had found out that most Hunter's were female. I had giggled at this, it almost reminded me of the TV show I once watched as a child, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not to say hunters couldn't be male, cause they could, it just that most hunters were female. It made since. I don't think my mother's family had birthed a Male since the 14th century. They all retained their maiden names though, which was Higgenbottom...oh how I hated that name. I was so happy my mother aloud me to take my father's last name.

Emily was now in 7th month of pregnancy and was as a big as a house – her words not mine. Emily may have had scars on her face, that many people found repulsing, but she never looked more beautiful then she did now. Twisting my engagement ring I finished putting on my Halloween outfit. I was dressed as Cinderella, the only difference between Cinderella and me was my hair was dark Mahogany brown were as hers was blond. Emily was going as was going as a sexy Indian princess, which suited her dark skin and Indian heritage nicely. It also showed off her pregnant belly, though Emily had been uncertain of this at first, Sam was adamant that it made her more beautiful.

Leah had gotten a very..reveling Princess Leia slave outfit and most of her costume was followed by beige or gold accents. Jake had decided to come as Prince Charming which was very appealing on him. Sam was dressed like Robin Hood and though Pail couldn't make it because of his mother being sick, Seth had come along as Dracula...the kind of smart ass thing the kid would do. Thinking of Seth made me smile, Seth was a good kid, and one day he would be my brother...or son in law. It wasn't long ago that Seth had imprinted on Sarah. Dad had at first been sort of wigged as him marrying Sue made Seth my brother. It was fine though once I reminded him that they were not related by blood and by then no one would remember or care.

Finally my babies were dressed in the cutest little Pink Leopard – Sarah, and Lamb – Mary Alice, costumes. I had picked them out with each girl in mind and they seemed to really like them.

"My Lady Cinderbella." I heard Jacob say from behind me and I jumped slightly and turned to look at him. He looked...dashing in his costume and his hair was slicked back...or at least it was trying to stay slicked back. He had Mary and Sarah in his arms and I smiled and walked forward, kissing him softly before taking Mary Alice from him.

"Cinderbella, huh?" I teasingly asked. Jake laughed and nodded.

"Princess, shall we?" He asked offering me his left arm. I took it and we walked to the living room together. Emily, Sam, Seth, and Leah were waiting for us down there and Emily had the babies double stroller in hand. It was the same one that I had used months ago in February before me and Jake got together and each of my friends looked stunning in there costumes, even Emily.

"Aw..its the lion and the Lamb." Emily spoke as her face lit up with happiness. My heart clenched at her wording,

_**'So the lion fell in love with the lamb?' **_

_**'What a Masochistic lion.' **_

_**'What a Stupid Lamb.'**_

The words flooded into my mind and I shook it to shake the remembrance away. 'What a stupid stupid lamb indeed.' I thought before speaking, "Actually its a Pink Leopard..I couldn't find a girly lion costume." I said and the other laughed and nodded. I felt Jake's free hand squeeze mine, he knew of almost everything ever said between me and the Cullen's.

"Well, we should go before all the good houses are hit." Seth said and grinned. Even though Seth was only 14 years old he looked as old as his 20 year old sister. Everyone grabbed their coats and bags before getting out, before leaving I made sure to tuck the twins into their seats tightly. Halloween was always a unpredictable day.

…...Time Skip!

Hours latter when we returned home I left the Twins with Leah and Seth. Charlie and Sue had went into Seattle for dinner, Sue being five months pregnant. I was very happy, it was supposed to be a girl. Jake and me went to the little cottage on the edge of the beach which Billy had some of the La Push Locals build for me, Jake and the Twins. We would leave in the four bedroom, two bathroom cottage after our wedding.

"Jake, are you sure you want to marry me?" I asked suddenly as we cuddled on the couch watching an old horror classic, night of the living dead. Jake looked down at me and raised a eyebrow, his oddly color russet eyes almost glowing in the dark.

"Were did this come from?" He asked and I looked away, tears in my eyes.

"Its nothing." I whispered trying to force the unshed tears away. I couldn't cry in front of him.

"No, its something. Is something wrong, did..did we not use enough protection?" Jake asked and I snapped my head up. He did know, did he? Of course not, it was a ludicrous question.

"No, of cour..course not." I said almost stuttering, I hoped he couldn't tell I was lying. We had been careful...but even condoms break, and even birth control isn't full proof. I had found out on my birthday, I was three months now. I didn't know what to do, only Leah knew the truth and I was a bit worried because of the fact I had not gained any weight.

"Then whats...I'll get it." Jake said as the phone began to ring. I nodded and sighed, I would have to tell him. I got up slowly and started up the stairs, I stopped half way up and gripped my stomach. Pains started shooting up and down and I felt like my guts were trying to be torn out.

"Bella...honey I have some bad news." I lifted my head and turned around on the stairs, heading back down, almost loosing my balance once or twice. I came face to face with Jake before I collapsed, the last thing I noticed was blood soaking my lounge pants and Jacob's screams.


	9. Chapter 9

**Like I never Existed**

**Chapter 9: Drive**

**Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear  
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear  
Take the wheel and steer  
It's driven me before  
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal  
But lately I'm beginning to find that I  
Should be the one behind the wheel**

**Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there  
With open arms and open eyes yeah**

**Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there  
I'll be there**

**So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive  
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?  
It's driven me before  
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around  
But lately I'm beginning to find that  
When I drive myself my light is found **

…

* * *

**Forks, Hospital:**

I was falling, It was dark all around and the silence was almost unbearable. I tried to open my eyes, but it was like I was blind, I was sure they were open but then my mind told me, no dear, there still closed.

"Bells...please wake up." A voice, so familiar, so very familiar. I moaned, I was trying, so hard. Why couldn't I wake up? Was I ok, were my babies ok, was my baby..was I still pregnant? I remembered going up the stairs on Halloween night, Jake had went to answer the phone and then pain...I think I tripped or...god I couldn't remember. I wanted to cry though, I felt like something was missing.

"Mama...." I heard a voice speak. This one was different, it was younger. So sweat...child like.

"Please Bell I can't do this on my own...Sarah and Mary needs you, Harrison needs you." Leah's voice this time, who was Harrison though? Sarah, my little Rose. Mary Alice my little Lamb. I clenched my fist, or tried too and then screamed as I tried to open my eyes. Slowly but surely a light started forming, I Almost thought I was dying again, what was the saying, don't go into the light? As the light brightened I saw and heard people around me. I saw Jacob looking like he had not slept in days, Sarah and Mary Alice were in his arms, smiling at me as I moved my head to look around. I was in a hospital this I could tell, I spent half my life in one after all.

Leah had tears in her eyes and a baby, with a darker skin tone and blue eyes, his hair was curly brown, just like mine.

"BELLA!" Jacob yelled as he rushed over to my side, giving he twins to Seth.

"wa.." I tried to speak but a breathing mask was covering my mouth, Jake smiled and looked to Leah,

"Can you get a doctor Lee?"Jacob asked using the nickname I had come up for the dark skinned girl. She nodded and turned the baby still in her arms. I smiled softly she looked so motherly with him, but who was he? He couldn't be mine, I was only three months at most four. I noticed that the baby was very very small, the smallest I had ever seen. Even Sarah and Mary were bigger and they were premature.

A nurse with black hair was who came in to remove the breathing mask and tube. She also gave me a glass of water. I smiled softly at her and looked at my family, I wondered absent mindlessly where dad and Sue where?

"What happened Jake?" I asked, my voice was raspy and I was shocked to say the least.

"You fell down the stairs, I couldn't get to you in time and you hit you head hard." Jake began and then looked down, his eyes tearing up. Leah looked just as sad only she was crying. I closed my eyes and put my hands over my stomach. I prayed, but I knew the answer to my unspoken or thought question.

"I lost him didn't I?" I asked my voice cracking with emotions.

Jake looked up at me and nodded. I chocked and nodded before bursting into tears. They were running down my face at a alarming rate, almost like I had not cried in months.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry." Leah spoke as she situated the baby in her arms into another position. I calmed my sobbing and whipped my eyes, I had lost my baby, but I still had two very important babies that needed me.

"Where is Dad and Sue? How long have I been here?"I asked and Leah looked at Jake sadly and Jacob sighed. I grimaced, more bad news.

"You've been here for two months, its December 24th."Jake said and my eyes widened, Christmas. I been in a coma that long? I knew I had been in one for some time when _**he**_ left me, but two months?

"Charlie?" I asked and I just knew this was not going to be happy.

"Charlie and mom where coming home from dinner in Seattle when a drunk driver ran into them. Charlie died instantly, shielding mom and the baby. The doctors were able to keep mom and the baby alive but she was basically brain dead. She was in a coma until it was safe enough to birth the baby, this is Harrison Swan he is five weeks old."Leah said and I let tears roll down my cheeks. So dad and Sue were both dead? I was really alone now.

I looked over at Jake and my daughters and smiled, no I wasn't alone. I held my arms out and Leah looked from me to Harrison and then hesitantly put him in my arms. I cooed, he was he cutest baby. His eyes were blue for the moment and his hair was curly and brown just like mine and dad's. I could see Sue in him though, it was in his skin, his smile, his eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a shape-shifter.

"Hello Harry, I am your aunt Bella."I said. Though he was my half brother I felt it more appropriate to have him call me Aunt Bella instead. Leah looked shocked and I giggled, she thought I'd want to raise him myself.

"I think Lee, that you'd be a better mother to him. besides I know you want a baby, both you and Paul."I said and she let a few tears roll down her dark skinned cheeks. Not many knew it but Leah was not able to have children, a accident as a child made the doctors have to remove her womb.

"You'll never know how...much I Appreciate this little sister."Leah said, as she tried to control her tears. I chuckled and shook my head.

"No I probably wont, not in the same way. But I think I get it." I spoke and I kissed Harry's forehead.

"Here Harry, go to mommy."I cooed and Seth laughed and Jacob smiled, but I could tell it was fake. I could see the resentment in his eyes, I had to remember that not only had I Lost my baby but he had as well. Leah came over almost skipping and took Harry from me.

"How did you know I called him Harry?"Leah asked and I laughed, tears were skill making there way down my face, but few and far between.

"I know you Lee, Harrison is a long form of Harry, and Harry was your father's name. I think it suits him." I said and she smiled, one of the widest and most beautiful smiles I had ever seen on my step sisters face.

I talked to my family, he only one's I had left for he next 20 minutes and reunited myself with the twins. I cried into their hairs, kissing them promising that I would always be there for them. The Doctor also came in, he told me that I had miscarried because of stress and something in my food, a chemical, possibly from the Halloween candy. I had been so shocked and hurt, but he also told me I wasn't the only victim, but it was impossible to find out who's house the candy came from.

The doctor couldn't be sure what the baby would have been, as it was only three months along so I decided to talk to Jake latter about getting him - as I had decided was the gender- a burial plot. After the talk and a talk of anti depressants the doctor left and I was left with my family. I smiled at Leah and Seth, and looking at Jacob I decided it was time to talk.

"Leah, Seth can you two take Sarah and Mary to lunch or the park. I need to talk to Jake."I asked and they nodded. Seth took Sarah and Mary Alice from my arms and left. I didn't know if Leah could take Harry home at this point, being as he was so premature.

"Why didn't you tell me about the baby, Bella?" Jake asked and I sighed. I looked at the white sheets and gripped them in my fist.

"I was a coward. I was so scared, we hadn't married yet and I was afraid you'd change your mind. I was also not made aware until a little over a month into my pregnancy. I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how." I was crying by the end as the full extent of wha my life was becoming hit me.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry, I don't blame you. Shit happens." Jacob said and held his fiance in his arms. He was sad that his child would never get to live, that he'd never get to hold him or her. He was angry that the baby was taken from them by some stranger who felt it funny to lace the Halloween candy with something that could harm a pregnant women. He was just so thankful Emily didn't eat candy, unless it was a store bought.

"Jacob?"I began as I calmed down, wiping my eyes with my hand. He looked at me with his brown eyes and I smiled softly.

"No more sex until the honeymoon. I just can't, take any chances. We were so careful before, condoms, birth control. I just can't handle that at the moment." I said and he smiled.

"Anything for you Bell."

…**.......................................Time Skip:**

**New Years eve:**

"Bella can you change Isabella while I make her a bottle?" Emily asked as we bustled around her and Sam's kitchen. Emily had given birth to her baby, a girl, on December 19th, and had named her in honor of me. She had said she was so scared that I wouldn't make it and she and Sam had decided to name their daughter after me even if I did wake up. I smiled and nodded, taking Isa from her mother. The baby was gorgeous, dark skin, and black hair, her blue eyes were sure to turn brown or possibly hazel.

"Come on little Isa, lets go change that dirty dipper." I said, almost like I was talking to a toddler instead of a baby less then three weeks old.

"I think Mama has lost her mind Princess, Aly cat." Jake said as he held Mary Alice and Sarah on his lap. I turned to him and glared half heartily before proceeding to change Isabella's diaper.

I smiled while doing this, Jacob had his own little nicknames for my daughters, Princess was Sarah, and Aly Cat was Mary Alice. I found them almost too cute.

"There, all done. Lets go to mommy." I said and walked back into the kitchen to give Isa to Emily. The pack was in the kitchen, Leah and Sam were helping with the food preparations and Paul held Harry in his arms a huge grin on his face. Looking back into the living room I smiled it was time.

"Everyone, me and Jake have a announcement to make." I said and looked back to see Jake and the girls in his arms coming into the kitchen. Everyone stopped and looked at us confusing and curiosity shadowing their faces. I smiled and took Mary Alice from him and he wrapped a arm around my waist.

"We've decided to..move up the wedding date." Jake said and Emily smiled, the guys stood up and clapped Jake on the back and then I finished for him.

"We've decided to get married in February, Valentines day." I said and I was hugged by the girls, I made sure Mary Alice was ok, I didn't want her getting squished.

"That's great you too, now everyone get a seat, the food ready!" Emily said. Isa was in Sam s arms now and he excused himself to put her to bed. We all sat and started talking, as we ate I was only thinking of how everything would be ok after all.

**A/N: Well that chapter 9. The next chapter wont be as long, it will most likly be from Edward's point of veiw. I'm sure you'd all like to see what the brooding Emo Vampire is doing? **


	10. Chapter 10

**Like I never Existed **

**Chapter 10: Sparkling Angel**

**Sparkling angel I believed  
You are my savior in my time of need  
Blinded by faith, I couldn't hear  
All the whispers, the warnings so clear**

**I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door  
There's no escape now, no mercy no more  
No remorse 'cause I still remember  
The smile when you tore me apart**

**You took my heart, deceived me right from the start  
You showed me dreams, I wished they turn into real  
You broke the promise and made me realize  
It was all just a lie**

**Sparkling angel, I couldn't see  
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me  
Fallen angel, tell me why  
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?**

**I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door  
There's no escape now, no mercy no more  
No remorse 'cause I still remember  
The smile when you tore me apart**

**You took my heart, deceived me right from the start  
You showed me dreams, I wished they turn into real  
You broke the promise and made me realize  
It was all just a lie**

**Could have been forever  
Now we have reached the end**

**Sparkling Angels: Within Temptation  
**

**

* * *

**

**EPOV:**

'You don't...want me?' I stared off into the darkness of the cramped attic in Wisconsin. The look on her beautiful face as I told her the blackest of lies. She'd believed me and I couldn't be sure if this was what hurt the most or if it was seeing her broken soul behind her eyes. I was all the things I had always feared in that moment, but it had to be done. Seeing Jasper, my own brother, attacking the love of my unlife was just too much. How could I protect her if my own brother was trying to kill her? She wasn't safe with me or my family, we only brought her death closer. This way, this was the only way she could live a full life.

I breathed in unessesary breath as I pictured my angel, my Bella. She would be even more beautiful as she grew older, maybe she'd let her beautiful chocolate colored hair grow down to her waist, her natural curl being inhanced. Her face would mature and she'd be a goddess. I smiled slightly, but then the pictured ended and turned into a nightmare. She walked over to a man, I couldnt see feautures only the outline. he was built sort of like Emmett or Jasper, his hair was longer, shoulder length maybe it was lighter, brown or blonde and his eyes were filled with love, possibly hazel. Three little kids ran around them and the man had his arm around her very pregnant waist. I opened my eyes and screamed, it was tortured, pain filled and if anyone was within miles they'd think soeone was dying.

As I calmed down I wished I could cry, wasnt that what I had wanted? For her to move on with man who could love her, could give her what I could not? Her children would be beautifl I was sure, and though I knew I shouldnt I pictures what they could look like, in my fantasy all her children had her brown hair and eyes, something told her children would be just like her but then agian who was I to know. I had left her.

**RING RING RING...**

**PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP!**

"Edward answer the phone! Edward its Alice and if you don't answer this phone say goodbye to your Volvo and Piano." Alice's angry yet calm voice came over my phone. I smirked, my Volvo and Piano, what was the use of having those if I didnt have my Angel, my Bella.

"Edward you shouldnt be doing this, so you left the Human, its what was supposed to happen..." Rose said and he gritted his teeth, how dare she insult Bella even now.

"give me the phone Rosalie! Edward Anthony Mason Cullen you come home right now. I miss you, I can't lose another child, not another one Edward." This time it was Esme and he looked at the phone ashamed. Was he really hurting his family that badly?

"Son please pick up your phone...Bella wouldn't want you to hurt like this." Carlisle's compassionate voice came over the speaker and then he reached to pick it up. They were all right, even Rose. He swallowed, not really needing to and he spoke for the first time since he had left his family, and Bella.

"I'm coming home." Then he hung up.

When you can live forever,

What do you live for?

* * *

**APOV (ALICE!)**

I know I promised Edward I wouldn't check on Bella, and for all he knew I never did, but she was...is my sister. The little sister I don't remember having, since we had left I had been with Jasper looking for my past. We found it a week ago, In Biloxi, Mississippi. Funny I never pictured myself to be from a southern place, I always thought I was more of a northern gal, from California or New york. I found my grave, it was a little unsettling to see the grave stone, in big script it read,

**MARY ALICE BRANDON**

**1901-1918**

**BORN IN FIRE, KILLED BY FLAME.**

it was a funny thing to be written on my grave, but also my true, I was killed by fire in a since, as the venom felt like fire, and I was reborn in fire. I found latter that although my death date was 1918, I hadn't been changed until 1920, so I was eternally 19 years old. It was nice to know, I had always thought I was around Edward's age when turned, and now I knew that even though I was the same age as Edward, I was two years older, physically. I also found out I had a younger sister, Cynthia, I also found a picture of me and my family. I looked more like my mother then Cynthia who had chocolate brown hair, in curls and dark eyes, maybe hazel, she reminded me of Bella, which hurt me more then knowing I was in a Asylum, put there because my Parents thought my gift was from the Devil, it also explained the hidden message in my gravestone, they had thought me of the Devil, and had told Cynthia I had died in a fire. Cynthia had married and had children, I had a neice somewhere.

Sighing I looked out my window, at the full moon. Bella would be 19 now, it had been a full year since we had left her, since my sister was left alone. I hadn't meant to look the first time, and I didnt see much, just Bella looking into a mirror, in a hotel maybe, her hair was the same but her eyes, they appeared green. They wore beautiful, I would not have known it was really her if Charlie had not come into the room, but even he looked different, younger, almost 10 years so with his new shave and cloths. I was never the more thankful Edward was not home then at that time. I didnt speak a word, the next vision I had was Bella in a Halloween Dress, it was beautiful, she made a lovely cinderella, I had enough time to see someone come in before it went black. i was scared, but I trusted Bella to take care of herself, not to mention I had no right to look, I had left without so much as a goodbye. She couldnt forgive me for that, no matter how forgiving she was.

"I'm coming home." It was what brought me out of my thoughts, I had left the room after Rose took the phone from me and I gasped, that was Edwards voice. Cracked with disuse, but still it was his.

"He's coming back!" I almost screamed, it was about damn time. The man could not mope around like this, he was the one who left Bella, not the other way around.

**A/N: Well here it is, I also gave you a look into Alice's mind. It is short but I promise the next chapter will be longer, I am happy to say, Jake is being booted out next chapter. Bella will have a love interest latter on, but in the end this will be a Bella/Edward.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Like I never Existed.**

**Chapter 11: Leave**

**It's amazing  
How you make your face just like a wall  
How you take your heart and turn it off  
How I turn my head and lose it all**

**It's unnerving  
How just one move puts me by myself  
There you go just trusting someone else  
Now I know I put us both through hell**

**I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong  
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me  
I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on  
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me**

**But if that's how it's gonna leave  
Straight out from underneath  
Then we'll see who's sorry now  
If that's how it's gonna stand, when  
You know you've been depending on  
The one you're leaving now  
The one you're leaving out **

**Matchbox twenty – Leave.**

**BPOV:**

**February 11th 2009**

"Come on Mary, you can do it." I cooed as I held my hands out for Mary who was holding on to the couch side. Christmas had past quickly, me and Jacob had also went about making a burial plot for our lost baby, we had both decided it was a boy though we had named it Blaise, a unisex name we had both liked. The Casket was just filled with small baby toys and a letter from both Jake and me. The pain was there, but having my babies here was healing me so much faster. Blaise was buried in between my parents, well Charlie and Sue that is. Most the town showed up, even Jess and Mike, Jess had her baby in the beginning of February, a baby boy who was named Mitchel, he was very cute. Angela had promised to come back for my wedding which was coming faster then I wanted. I loved Jacob, I really did, but I wasn't sure if he was the one. I didn't mean that I thought Edward was going to come back, because I knew I had to move on and that was what I was doing, but I wasn't sure Jake was the one I wanted to move on with. He was just so young, sure he was now 17 but, I was going to be 20 before long, It just seemed to soon.

Not to mention with what happened on Halloween, it was like a sign, don't proceed, disastrous actions lay ahead. I was shocked out of my thought by a hand on my cheek and I gasped, it was my blue eyed Mary Alice, on their first birthday I had noticed that while Mary's eyes remained blue, a baby blue, Sarah's eyes were now a chocolate brown just like mine. They looked so much like me as a babe it was amazing. I no longer corrected people when they thought they were biologically mine, they were the babies of my heart, they were mine.

"You did, Yay, Mary Alice, you did it." I said as I stood up with her in my arms. She giggled and smiled wide, showing small dimples, I wasn't aware of where she got them from, but for all I knew I had them as a baby too. I looked over to where Sarah was, she was clapping and her brown eyes were staring at me with baby happiness. Sitting on the ground I put Mary on the floor in front of me and beckoned Sarah to me, she stood shakily and then tottered over before falling into my lap. I laughed and hugged both girls to me, without them I wasn't sure where I would be. Fingering my pentagram necklace I smiled, I had one tattooed on my hip as well, so demons or spirits couldn't get inside my body, I had been surprised to learn they could and had been quick to set precautions. I even had little pentagram bracelets made for the twins, it got some odd looks from people but I didn't care what they thought.

"Knock, knock...is Mommy home?" I heard Emily say and I looked up to see not only her but Leah as well. They both had Isa and Harry with them. I smiled and got up, looking at the twins with a pointed look and said, "Stay here you two." then I walked around the couch and greeted them, with a kiss on the cheek and small hug. I also took Harry and Isa from their mothers and cradled them in one arm. I had experience holding babies like this from holding both the twins at once. It was easy after getting the hang of it, though both Leah and Emily almost had spasms when I did it. Being about three months old now the two babies still had blue eyes, though Isabella's looked darker each day. I figured Harry's would stay the same, just like Sues and Leah's.

"Hey Harry, Isabella, how are my two favorite niece and nephew?" I asked kissing each on the forehead. Emily laughed and Leah smiled amusement in her blue eyes. She and Paul where thinking of getting a Segregate mother, and though I was their first choice they knew after Blaise I was not ready for a pregnancy, I didn't know when I'd be able to handle that kind of news again, I did know I would always fear loosing it. As such they had found a lovely girl in Seattle, Megan who was even offering to do it again in the future if they ever wanted another child. I was happy for Leah and Paul, everyone was. They of course were going to wait until Harry's first birthday before doing anything, but they were in the process of becoming good friends with Megan.

"They are the only ones Bella." Emily said and I laughed and handed Harry back to Leah who gladly took him into her arms. I smiled as Harry reached up to play with his mother's hair and I ran a hand through Isa's growing black hair and then reached her back to Emily who was taring at something behind me. I turned and gasped, my eyes widening.

"Ooh...No, Mary!" I said and started for her, she was somehow standing on the ledge that was about three inches wide on the open widow, the problem was we were on the second floor, I had decided to come to a hotel until the wedding, the whole not seeing the bride until the wedding thing taken to the extreme. I figured I needed all the luck I could get.

"Mama...Birdy." Mary said pointing out the window and leaning forward, I felt my breath catch and I lept and caught her before she could fall any further, I clutched her to my chest and backed away from the window. Leah was instantly by my side and Emily who had sat Isa down beside Sarah who was staring with tear filled eyes, was shutting and locking the window.

"Don't...Ever...Do...That...Again!" I said kissing her head in between every word, clutching her to my chest and tears were falling from my eyes though I hardly noticed, they were silent.

"I told you to stay in the floor Ali, please don't scare mommy like that again." I said looking into her blue eyes. She looked sad and had tears in her eyes as well. She patted my cheek and kissed my cheek.

"I sowwy mommy." Mary Alice said and I laughed, chocking on my tears. I nodded and looked to Leah and Emily who were smiling sadly. Sarah crawled over to me and lifted her arms up.

"Up!" Was all she said and I bent down and lifted her up with strength that had come from months of training. I hugged them both and smiled at Leah and Emily. As long as I had my baby girls, I would survive.

**-Time Skip: One hour latter.**

A hour latter we all sat in my small kitchen, if it could be called a kitchen with a cup of coffee. I had spent 30 minutes consoling my daughters and then Emily had suggested a nap. I had made small cot's for Isabella and Harrison and we put them all to sleep for a little while. Almost like clock work Emily and Leah led my shaking body to the kitchen and Leah started making us coffee. I just sat starring at my small round table. How could I have been so stupid, I shouldn't have turned my back on them. They were only a year old, and Mary Alice was a very curious baby.

"Its ok Bell, it was a common mistake." Emily said as she rubbed small circles into the small of my back. I chuckled bitterly, common mistake, really?

"Common Mistake, Emily how many people leave a window open, and then turn their backs on a small child? I could have...oh god my baby could have been killed!" I said in hysterics. Leah came over and put a cup of black coffee in front of me and I looked up at her, and nodded, I couldn't speak, I felt like someone was shoving their fist down my throat.

"You'd be surprised, Bells, when I was little my aunt Sue, she left me on top the car, in my carrier, I was a year old. It was almost a hour latter when she realized she hadn't gotten me off, she thought she had killed me as I was in the hot sun, we were in California for vacation. I was fine though, sleeping away." Emily said and I looked at her with a small smile, but shook my head.

"That different Em, you were not on the edge of a two story drop. If she had fallen, I don't know what I would have done." I said and put my shaking hands around the coffee cup.

"It didn't though, you have a angel looking out for you, for them, I think we all do." Leah said and I smiled, I knew she was talking about our parents, and even Blaise. Leah wasn't a very religious person but she did believe in god and heaven, even hell and the devil. She once said only stupid people believe in God and don't believe in the devil as well. I agreed, you can't have good without Evil, they were one in the same in some cases.

Emily nodded, taking a drink of her own coffee and I sighed, trying to calm myself down. As I took a drink of mine Leah patted my back and said in a calm voice.

"Though if you want I can call Jake." She said and I hummed in the back of my throat as I swallowed in a hurry and shook my head. No, I didn't even want him to find out about this.

"No, definitely not. Besides I need all the luck I can get, and that means I can't see Jake until the wedding." I said and they laughed and nodded. I looked over at the clock and ran a hand through my long wavy locks of brown hair, which I had recently highlighted with caramel colored highlights, they seemed to blend in with the natural auburn red and lighter brown easily so they were hardly noticeable unless in the sun.

"Well, I guess we should get to that Dress magazine." I said almost shuddering. Emily and Leah clapped their hands and shared identical evil grins. They knew I detested shopping, even in a magazine.

**-SCENE CHANGE: Seattle club, Ice Angel.**

**JPOV (JACOB: I am not great with him, cause I hate him, sigh.)**

**Hey, I'm feeling tired  
My time, is gone today  
You flirt with suicide  
Sometimes, that's ok  
Hear what others say  
I'm here, standing hollow  
Falling away from me  
Falling away from me**

**Day, is here fading  
That's when, I would say  
I flirt with suicide  
Sometimes kill the pain  
I can always say  
'It's gonna be better tomorrow'  
Falling away from me  
Falling away from me...**

I never thought I would be more thankful for Paul's ability to get fake ID's, it wasn't like I looked 17, so when my ID said I was 23 they believed it. Moving my drink around I smiled, not at the song playing in the background because truthfully I liked music a little calmer then this, I wasn't even sure who this was but because a flash of wavy brown hair came into his view. At first I thought it was my beautiful Fiance, but then I frowned, no it wasn't her. Bella was adamant that it would be bad luck if I saw her before the wedding, I knew the saying but I was under the impression it didn't take affect until the day of the wedding. **  
**

"Hey man! This is great you should come dance." Embry said. I looked to my right and shook my head. Embry was wasted, my fault really, I should have been watching the guy, but it wasn't like it could kill him.

**Beating me down  
Beating me, beating me  
Down, down  
Into the ground  
Screaming some sound  
Beating me, beating me  
Down, down  
Into the ground...**

"Dude, get with it, buy a drink, have fun." He said slapping me on the back and I rolled my eyes. Yeah right, have fun, I was missing Bella already. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought we'd be like this, almost married, the beginning of the rest of our life. I cold hardly wait, not to mention it came with bragging rights, how many people could say they married a older women at 17. I smirked, yep that was a bonus.

Thinking back to when Bella that miscarriage he frowned a little. At the time he was very upset, though mostly because Bella hadn't told him sooner. Truthfully he wasn't sure what he would have done with the news. He wasn't ready for children, the twins were one thing but they were not his children, they were his fiance's kids. He would never tell Bella, but part of him felt relieved that she had lost the baby, though he did not want to think of what he would have done if she hadn't, knowing his word vomit he would have asked her to get a abortion.

I snorted, Bella would never do that. The bottom line was though, he had no intention of getting her pregnant for a long time, though that didn't mean anything about the sex, the sex was great, it was probably the second best thing of being with Bella.

**(A/N: Yes I am destroying him, what a jackass teenager huh? I was hard for me to right though, especially the word..Abortion, it makes me shudder every time. On with the story. ^ ^)**

**(Falling away from me)  
It's spinning round and round  
(Falling away from me)  
It's lost and can't be found  
(Falling away from me)  
It's spinning round and round  
(Falling away from me)  
So down...**

"Dance, right man, I'll do that." I said and Embry nodded and went back to dancing. I took a long drink of my bear and smirked, my father would have a aneurysm if he knew where I was. Shaking my head I only half noticed the chair moving and then a girl sitting down. I didn't look at her, I was soon to be married, I would do that after, look but don't touch they say.

"You come here often?" I heard a very sweet voice come from my right. I kept looking into my drink and nodded.

"You don't talk much do ya, hey I'm Selena." I heard as a slightly tan hand came into few, though she was darker then Bella from what I could see she was still pale. I took it and looked up and to the side of me. The moment I did, everything changed. I was never more Happy then now that Embry was drunk or he would have felt it being so close to me.

Selena was young, no older the 22, maybe even younger. She had long wavy blonde hair and dark Ivory skin, but still pale and her eyes were wide almond shaped blue. She was all I could see and she was the most beautiful person, outshining Bella by a thousand stars. Looking at her I wondered what I was thinking, marrying Bella?

"You ok?" Selena asked, concern clearing on her face. I nodded and smiled, the biggest smile I could muster, which was pretty damn big considering I was all depressed before.

"Yeah, Sorry, I'm Jacob." I said and she smiled back. I didn't know it then but this was the turning point which would ether kill me or make me the happiest in life. One thing I did know was I had imprinted and either way, I was screwed.

**-Scene Change: Two Day's latter.**

**BPOV:**

**February 13th 2008**

The next two days after the incident with the window, I never let the twins out of my sight. I took them everywhere, even to my dress fitting. The dress I chose was beautiful, a mix of old fashion and modern. It was strapless, and unlike most dresses wasn't puffy or wide with multiple layers of skirts, it was silk and sheer, from the waist line down it was like a waterfall and it was thin and if you looked closely you could almost see threw it, almost. The skirt had a design of flowers, and on the back was a bigger version of the flowers, like a bow. My jewelry was all Blue topaz and diamonds, and my shoes were strapy crystal white pump sandals. I also had a diamond tiara headband and my make up would be simple a gold that blended with my eyes. Over all I was very happy with my dress.

The Bridesmaid dresses were also modern, knee length bubble dresses with no straps and was a topaz blue color, like ice and very bright. It was the closest to matching the Blue topazes in my jewelry. They also looked lovely on Emily and Leah and I also knew it would look great on Angela. Though Leah had decided to stay with me for the two days since the incident, along with Harry, Isa and Emily had gone back to Sam at their own Hotel room. I was ready to put that behind me now, me and Leah and passed my nerves by telling stories of what our parents did to us as children.

Turned out Leah's father had mistaken her for another baby at the park once, they didn't even have the same hair color, but since she was only a few months old it was hard to tell. It was almost three hours before Harry figured it out and this was only because Sue came home and instantly knew the baby wasn't Leah. In return I told her about the time Renee left me in front of my school for over two hours, forgetting that I was even there. Or the time Charlie had hook my arm with the hook of his fishing poll when trying to show me how it was done.

I was also worried about Jacob. The Pack had heard from him, but he was late to his fitting, and then when he did turn up he looked like he hadn't slept much. He also hadn't called me, he knew that I wasn't allowing us to see each other until our wedding but he usually called each day to check up. I hadn't heard from him since the morning before Mary Alice decided she wished to catch the bird. Shuddering I finished putting the lasagna together and then put it into the oven. As I put the pot holders back on the counter of the small hotel room kitchen I jumped as I heard glass shatter. I ran over to the desk and pulled out a small hand gun, which had bullets dipped in rock salt and dead mans blood.

"MOMMY!" I heard one of the Twins yell, and I gasped, the glass had come from their rooms. I took off like a bullet and as I busted into the room I held the gun level. The chance that it was Victoria was very high.

"Babies?" I asked and I saw them in the floor cuddled together. I turned in a full circle and gasped at what was hanging from the window. A wolf, but not any wolf, it was Embry. The thing was he was bleeding from the neck, a piece of paper hung from his neck and he had not phased back to human form which could only mean he was killed in wolf form. Lowering the gun I put my hand over my mouth and walked forward. I slowly reached out to get the paper.

**Bella, **

**Take this as a warning, I'll be there to kill you, run as far as you can, it will never be far enough.**

**Sincerely hoping to kill you,**

**Victoria.**

I dropped the note and back up, grabbing The twins up and exited the room with the twins. I just wondered how I was going to explain this to the Hotel.

**-Time Change: **

**BPOV:**

**February 14th 2009**

I almost didn't go through with the wedding. With Embry being killed, it being my fault, I just did not feel in the mood to celebrate something like this. I steel had not heard from Jake, but Sam assured me he was fine. Staring at my reflection I tried to be happy but I just couldn't muster up the excitement I had two days ago, or two months ago in fact. Victoria was back and she had not only targeted me, but she had killed a good friend, because of her a mother and father would never be able to bury a proper body. The Pack had been forced to cremate him, as once you died in wolf form, you stayed in wolf form. The Hotel had been told that I was having problems with a ex-boyfriend and that he had broken in and done it while she was out at the store. That I had found it when putting the twins to bed, it was sort of true.

"You ok Bell?" Leah asked as she put the finishing touches on her hair, it was half curled and in a up do, small curls falling into her face and her eyes were indeed more green then brown but they were also clouded in sadness. Was I, ok?

"Am I doing the wright thing? Embry just died, and here I am in white, getting married." I asked a tear threatening to fall. Emily sighed from her seat and Leah looked down, I saw a tear escape her blue eyes and she shook her head.

"I don't know Bella. I think Embry would want you to be happy though. So wipe those tears and lets go. It almost time for you to take that walk." Leah said and I nodded, smiling. It wasn't a true smile, one that reached my eyes but it was a smile none the less. My eyes also brightened but remained mostly green. As we went to the door, Emily smiled at me and they formed a line, holding a bonquit of Red and white roses, while they held blue roses and babies breath. The music started and my two best girlfriends walked down the isle ahead of me. As soon as they were done and little Claire was finished throwing the blue rose petals I began my walk, Billy was by my side, him being in a wheel chair was difficult but we pulled it off.

I smiled upon seeing Jake but for some reason he didn't look happy. He kept glancing at the guest. I noticed one girl, she was someone I had never seen before. She sat in the middle roll, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She seemed tall, and her skin looked flawless, was pale but not near as pale as mine, I'd call it a dark ivory. Her hair was in a ponytail and curly, a beautiful blond and her eyes were a bright baby blue. She was probably the most odd looking out of the guest, they all seemed exited while she looked like she was forcing herself not to jump up and shout. I looked back as I heard the priest ask who gave me to this man, and Billy spoke up and I was passed to Jake. His touch didn't console me any, it was cold, even though he was hot, temperature wise that is.

I zoned out during the priests speak and only heard him ask me if I took this man to be husband. I gulped, could I do it. I looked into Jake's eyes and closed mine, I needed to move on, even if a year down the road I ended up leaving Jake, I was not going to disappoint my friends, Billy who was so happy that I was going to be brought into the family. He had been heart broken about Blaise, more so then Jake had been. I think that was when my doubts began even if I was trying to deny them.

"I...I..." I never finished as Jake suddenly dropped my hands and back away.

"Don't Bella, don't finish that. I can't marry you." He said his eyes like solid onyx. It reminded me vaguely of when Edward left me. I flinched a sharp pain, was I being left again? Looking into his onyx eyes, I knew the answer. Yes, I was being left.

I vaguely heard the guest gasp and I saw the blond stand at rapt attention.

"I'm sorry Bella, but I don't love you. I thought I did, but then I met Lena. I imprinted." He said the last part low but I knew the shape-shifters in the church had heard him as I heard Leah growl. This was probably to much for her, her first love, Sam had imprinted on her cousin Emily, who until I came she couldn't be in the same room with let alone speak to with a civil tongue. I stared shocked, it hurt, oh hell it hurt, but not as much as I thought. I just stared blankly, finally he moved away and towards the blonde from earlier. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her softly, and I felt tears leak from my eyes. I didn't understand why I was crying, betray maybe, or possibly the shock of being left...again. I collapsed onto the ground, my legs tucked under me as the chapel doors closed and Jake left me, just like him.

I only heard faint sounds around me, and saw blurs rushing towards me before I passed out completely.

**A/N: Well here it is. I had a request that Bella be strong when this happened and I think I made her as strong as possible under the circumstances. I mean if all this happened before your wedding and then the guy you were going to marry left you for another girl at the alter you'd probably act similar...I didn't want her to see Jake leave her and be like, "So he left me, oh well hey Leah were are the twins I want to take them home." It just doesn't seem realistic. **


	12. Chapter 12: End of Book I

**Like I never Existed**

**Chapter 12: Bitter Taste**

**Just let me say one thing  
I've had enough  
You're selfish and sorry  
You'll never learn  
How to love  
As your world disassembles  
Better keep your head up**

**Your name,  
Your face is  
All you have left now  
Betrayed, disgraced  
You've been erased**

**So long, so long  
I have erased you  
So long, so long  
I've wanted to waste you  
So long, so long  
I have erased you  
I have escaped  
The bitter taste of you**

**Just let me clear my head  
I think I've had too much  
You're so disappointing  
But you make good use of it **

**Bitter Taste – Three days Grace!**

**BPOV:**

**February 17th 2009/ Karaoke night at a bar in Port Angelus. **

" _We love our tragedies.  
When we're broken in our own little ways  
We're broken and we fit together just right  
You know I saw the black inside your eyes  
I saw they were eclipsed, and by mine, they look just right. _

_When our lights meet, will you know me then?  
And will you want to know it  
It feels like I've known you for so long.  
When our lights meet, will you love me then?  
and will you ever know it.  
It seems like you've known me for so long. _

I couldn't believe I was doing this. Sure I had sang in front of people before, but the the twins, my dad, mom, my family, that was different. I hardly thought this was a good idea. Four days since Embry was killed, three days since Jacob left me for some Blond tart. Sure I had come to terms with the fact I never really loved Jake, I even told Leah this when she offered or more like threatened to find him and castrate him. I now understood why Jake wasn't as torn about our baby as he should have been, but that was something I wasn't going to dwell on. Leah had dragged me here to release some steam. I had no idea this was the place she meant, but I was happy we had come. Though I could have done without the karaoke. _  
_

_I love your melodies.  
We're both crazy in our own little ways  
We talk about the future and our past lives.  
I know loved you then.  
I know you love you now.  
I know I'll love you then.  
I know I love you now._

_But you can't have everything you want when you want it.  
I will be everything you want, when you want it.  
_

Perfect song, it was a bit like both my relationships, and ironically enough they both failed. One, the one I really loved didn't even want me, just liked to toy with me. The second was a rebound to put it in laymen terms, we had good times, at one point I could call Jake my sun, my best friend. Now all I could say was he was not worth my tears. I knew Sam had done the same thing to Leah, but even he wasn't as cold hearted about it. From what Leah had told me he had broken it gently to her, cooked her a dinner and told her after, it was probably not a good Idea in the long run as Leah had thought he wanted to propose, but in the end it was a better way then leaving her at the alter, even when they knew almost three days before that it wouldn't work. Then he had the nerve, the balls to invite the tart to their wedding, it was like he wished to gloat the fact that he was leaving her for some Blonde who while pretty and sweat looking probably would turn on him down the road.

She snorted mentally, he had imprinted, they'd probably be together forever...did it make her a bad person to wish them the worst?

_Wait for me. Just for me.  
Fall for me. Even when you don't know you fell from me.  
Will you fall for it? If this comes around again.  
Don't wait for me. And don't trust in me. Don't fall me.  
Even when you know you're falling for me._

_When our hearts meet, will we make it right.  
Will we even notice that they are eclipsed? _

The club all clapped as my song ended, it was a great song, by Evans blue...who was fast becoming my favorite band. Eclipsed..exactly how I felt. My heart felt Eclipsed, like some dark shadow had covered its warm glow and only cracked when around the Twins. I was only so glade that the twins were to young to ever remember Jake, I had no Intention of ever seeing his face again. Leah had to see Sam's everyday but with my help over the last year and the fact she imprinted on Paul and he on her, she could now put that behind her. I didn't think I could ever forgive something like that...though I did forgive Billy, he had comforted me, begged for forgiveness for what Jacob had done. I had told him that there was no need for it, he had tried to warn me that this could happen but I Didn't listen, because I had wanted to be wanted.

Billy had the Twins with him. I had decided that I couldn't live here anymore. To many memories. So I decided to sell the cottage by the cliffs, as I felt that with Jake being gone he had forfeited clam to it, I wouldn't have him and his whore living in the home meant for us. I was also selling my truck and Charlie's motorbike...something from his youth he had stored in Billy's garage. I was giving my currant home to Leah and Paul who needed to have a bigger house for when they expanded their family.

Emily had found me a amulet that could help me stay hidden from Victoria. Even with my knowledge being a Hunter and all, I was still only human. The amulet made sure no powers worked on me, and my scent was covered. I moved swiftly to sit down beside Leah, very happy that my clumsy tendencies had almost completely left me. Then again I still had bouts of klutz attacks.

"That was great Bell, I never knew you could sing so well." She said and I smiled.

"Yeah...neither did I. I figure while I settle in I'll work at some club, its better then what some resort to." I shuddered and so did she after making a disgusted face, she knew I meant stripping. It had been something I had to think about. I could only afford so much and I needed collage, if I was going to be able to care for my twins. In the end I had decided on waitressing or something of the sort.

"Agreed, did Billy mind how late we'd be out?" She asked. She herself had left Harry with Emily who was not up for going out. She had apologized but we understood and didn't hold it against her. I shook my head, poor Billy, he all but kicked Jake out and Sam and the Pack were not listening to him. Billy pretty much disowning him made him unable to take the Alpha spot from Sam, a relief for us all. Billy loved the twins like his own grandchildren, and as such loved spending time with them. It was one reason I didn't wish to leave, taking the Twins with me would leave Billy alone, but then again Rachel was supposed to be coming home soon again, she had been imprinted on by Jared over New Years.

"He was fine, I feel bad for leaving Forks though, he wont be able to see Sarah or Mary, he loves those girls." I said sipping my drink, a beer which Leah had bought for me. I was only 19 almost 20 but she was 21.

"He'll be fine, Rachel being back will cheer him up a lot." Leah said and I nodded before standing up.

"Lets go dance, to being single again." I said and she nodded at me chuckling.

"To you being single." She said and we moved onto the dance floor. We danced together, sometimes I'd feel some guy dance against me and the away. We danced until midnight before leaving for home.

**Time Skip:::**

**February 21st 2009: Forks/LA Push boarder – Swan house**

"We are gonna miss you Bella. Take care of yourself and the Twins." Emily said as she held Isa in her arms, I smiled and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Sarah and Mary Alice were already in the car seats of my new car, a black BMW convertible, at the moment the hood was up.

"I will, take care of yourself as well, and I'll expect pictures of Isabella regularly, she'll be just as beautiful as her mommy I am sure." I said and she laughed and kissed my cheek before moving back so Leah could move in. She hugged me, almost squishing Harry against me. I smiled at my Brother turned nephew and kissed Leah's cheek.

"I'm going to miss you Lee." I said and she smiled.

"I'm going to miss you as well, When I see Jake again I'll be sure to kick him in the nuts for you." She said and I laughed while the Pack all smirked, Sam and Seth looked like they were imagining doing something to Jake, the last time they had that look on there face Jake ended up with pink hair.

"Here Here." Emily said from her spot beside Sam and everyone turned to look at the scarred beauty. She wasn't once for violence, but I guess this called for her more...violent streak which we all knew Emily Rose Uley was capable of.

"Do you have to go Bells?" Seth asked as she stalked forward his short shaggy back hair looking almost blue when the light hit it wright. I felt even worse as his eyes strayed to Sarah in the car window. He had imprinted on her some time ago, I had completely forgotten, as at this point what she needed was a friend, so that was what Seth was to her.

"I have too, I promise though. You are welcome to come visit any time you feel like it. I'll even come back to meet all of you, in Seattle that is, I don't think I'll be able to return to La Push or Forks for a while, to soon." I said and he grinned before hugging me.

"I'll expect you to write every week Bella, you where always like a daughter to me, remember that." Billy said and I smiled and leaned down to hug the old man. Getting into my car I pulled out, waving out the window as I drove off, out of Washington.

-Time Skip

**3 days latter: Cambridge Massachusetts**

It took a while to arrive here, but I was happy to be here. I chose Harvard because it was where my dad's father went to collage before becoming a Collage Professor, yep that was write not all Swan men where police officers, actually besides Charlie's brother who died on duty and his Uncle he was the only other law enforcer in the family. The rest were professors or doctors sometimes dentist, actually my great grandmother Francesca was a Archeologist. I was going to study Education, having nothing else to do besides care for the twins and pay for bills and daycare I was going to be a over achiever. In the end I'd be able to teach any grade I wished and Freshmen English and History.

The money I had to pay to go to Harvard though, 25.65 billion was a hell of a lot of money, thanks to my father and grandmother though I had over half of this payed, I had paid 13 billion already so I needed to make 12.62 billion. It wouldn't be easy but in the end it would be worth it. I liked Cambridge though, it was not to sunny but not to rainy, no threat of running into a Cullen or other Vampire.

"What do you think girls?" I asked even though they couldn't give me a very big answer. Being only a year old. Sarah looked at it with wide eyes and Mary Alice looked at me and giggled, clapping her hands. The house wasn't big, it was a white, had two stories, and three bedrooms and a medium sized kitchen and two bathrooms along with a rather moderate sized living room. The yard made up for the small size though.

It was only a hour drive from the collage which suited my purposes perfect, I was also going to start working at a club soon, bartender and on some nights I'd preform with a local band. Most of the songs would be covers but I would get a extra hundred if they were originally songs. So all in all I'd get two hundred for preforming, tips from the customers, and a salary of 15 dollars per hour on the bar. I felt it was a good deal, I I agreed to it. The other band members would get a hundred fifty a piece, I almost felt bad but I had children and Collage I needed the money more.

"I'm glade you like it, now lets go settle in." I said and I carried them inside were the play pen was already in the living room. Slowly I carried every box into its rightful room and then came the furniture..with the last of my money I had bought all new pieces, a black leather living room set, and a new TV. The rest was being moved in the moving truck brought by the Pack, they should be here within the next day.

After getting the girls' cloths unpacked I made dinner, and fed the twins some applesauce and mashed potato's, before giving them a bath and setting them down in my bed, which wasn't a bed but a big pile of comforters and sheets. I couldn't wait until the furniture arrived was the last thought before we all fell into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Book II

**Like I never Existed : Book II**

**Chapter 1: Already Gone**

**Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even without fists held high, yeah  
Never would have worked out right, yeah  
We were never meant for do or die**

**I didn't want us to burn out  
I didn't come here to hurt you now  
I can't stop**

**I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone**

**Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
That doesn't always make you wanna cry  
Started with a perfect kiss  
Then we could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive**

**You know that I love you so  
I love you enough to let you go**

**I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone**

**I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
You can't make it feel right  
When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone.**

**Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson**

**

* * *

**

**1 ½ years latter**

**BPOV:**

**March 20th 2011**

"Mary Alice Swan! What have I told you about leaving your toys in the floor?" I called as I held up one of Mary's baby dolls. It had been a year and a half since Jake left me, and three and half years since Edward left me. I could now say his name without a lot of discomfort, I was finally moving on, even if it was slow and painful at first.

"What, but I'm not Mary Alice, I'm Sarah, and you call yourself our mother." One twin, who thought she was being smart said as she put her hands on her hips. Even though they were small, and at only three the twins were very intelligent. It was almost like talking to a adult at times. I raised a elegant eyebrow.

"Really now? I know for a fact your Mary, for one thing darling you have blue eyes, and Sarah has brown. Another thing is Mary Alice never introduces herself as Mary Alice, simply Alice." I said a smile on my face. I saw Mary pout and her shoulders sag before I chuckled and bent down to pick her up, laying the baby doll on the coffee table.

"You've got to take better care of your things Darling...or the toy monster will show up and gobble them up while you sleep." I said and she gasped, her brown eyes like mine used to be going wide.

"Not my toys!" She said and I smiled and put my forehead to hers.

"Well you best go clean up huh?" I said and put her down. She nodded and skipped off into the play area taking her baby doll with her. I smiled as I watched my sister turned daughter clean up her toys. We had lived her for almost two years and I loved the surroundings. I missed Forks at time, I missed La Push more. I had seen Leah not three months ago during Christmas. She and Paul had contacted their surrogate not long after I left, they had twins now; Susan and Marie, both a year old. Little Isabella was almost two as was Harrison, they were adorable. Harry had the same blue eyes as Leah, and Isabella looked like Emily but with the dark brown/black eyes which belonged to Sam.

"Sarah Rosalie Swan! What did I tell you about the mud?" I called as Sarah came in her long wavy/curly brown hair in a low ponytail. Her white shirt under a pair of jean overalls covered in mud. Her face had smears and her hands were completely brown with mud as were her feet up to her knees.

"Sorry Mama, I'll clean it up." She said blushing as she looked down in shame. Sarah was not a attention seeking child, no that was Mary Alice. The twins were complete opposites. Sarah reminded me of myself only she had more confidence then me and loved to get dirty and play sports. Mary Alice was my girly one, who loved being the center of attention and god forbid you take the child shopping. She was a demon possessed if I even muttered the word shopping.

"Don't worry about it baby, Mary go into the kitchen and wait for me. Rosie, go upstairs and clean yourself off and change cloths, yell if you need me." I said as I ran a hand through her hair, which was much much lighter then my own. Sarah nodded and walked slowly up the stairs to the bathroom, Mary Alice smiled and skipped into the kitchen. I sighed and followed thinking of how I was going to get them to the daycare in time.

**Cambridge Campus;**

**March 20th 2011**

"Yes, Lee I know. Haha, Mary Alice says the same thing, wait until the twins are older they'll pull it as well. I suggest not letting them watch Harry Potter. Those Weasley twins are bad influences." I said as I walked around campus, my cell phone up to my right ear, and my messenger bag slung over my left shoulder, a cup of coffee in the other hand.

"Don't worry, Sue and Marie will be fine, Sarah got the flu when she was barely 1 ½ and gave it to Mary and they both turned out fine. They'll be crabby but that is to be expected." I continued. Leah had called me in hysterics after my last period class, during lunch. She had taken Susan and Marie to the hospital and found out they had a bad flu. They were about two but it was still very dangerous. I could relate, The twins had gotten a bad flu not two months after we moved here and I had almost died from worry.

"Listen I gotta go if I'm gonna get any lunch. No its fine Leah, I'll call you back latter." I said and then hung up as I did I looked down, it all happened so quickly I never noticed myself colliding into a man. My coffee was crushed, the drink spilling all over his white button down shirt. I dropped the cup and looked up into the face of the man, I forgot what I was going to say as I stared into his ice blue eyes.

"I am so sorry." I finally said as I grabbed some napkins out of my bag, I usually carried them around for the girls. I handed some to him and tried to help by wiping it from his chest. I felt a tingle as my skin touched his, which was lightly tanned. His jaw was strong and his hair was cut short but was a beautiful golden/honey blond. As I looked closer at him, his 6'4 build towering over me I blinked and thought I was seeing a older Jasper, with differences of course.

"Its..Its ok. I wasn't watching were I was going either. I'm Dean, Dean Whitlock." I almost swooned his voice was like honey and had a subtle hint of a southern accent. The name Whitlock though brought back a conversation with Alice.

_'Alice, is Jasper's last name really Hale? I mean I know people think Rosalie and him are Twins but are they really?' Alice tinkering laugh and her eyes lit up. _

_'No silly Bella, Jasper is older then Rosalie by a good century. He was originally from Texas, his name was Jasper Cole Whitlock.' _

"Are you ok ma'am?" Dean asked and I blinked and nodded smiling up at him.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm Isabella Swan, just Bella please." I said after a moment and he smiled, he was almost perfect, but I could tell simply by looking he was the opposite of Edward. Thinking of Edward now brought a since of guilt to me. I had grown up over the last three or so years but I would always love my gold eyed vampire, but now I didn't just miss Edward. No, I missed everyone, I think I missed Alice the most out of them all, even Edward at times.

"Are you a student here Bella?" He asked.

"Yeah, its my second year. What about you?" I asked as I moved to sit down at one of the many round tables. Dean smiled and took a seat across from me as I motioned for him too.

"My third, I'm studying to be a Doctor like my Uncle in Phoenix." He said and I blinked, a Doctor in Phoenix.

"Your Uncle? Anyone I might know, I am originally from Phoenix." I said.

"I don't know, A Dr. Lyle Yule." He said I smiled.

"Of course, he delivered my babies." I said and he looked shocked. I almost chocked on my tongue, had I scared him away. I was really liking the conversation between us and he made me feel something I hadn't felt since before Edward left me. Not to say I was comparing him to Edward and our time together this feeling was different, not as complete but very close.

"Babies? You don't look old enough to have children." He said and I laughed. Well this was a good start, he hadn't gotten up and left like many of the men who had tried getting into my pants. He was also very different from those men, he was sincere and I could tell.

"Well, they are not mine exactly. My mother died in childbirth three years ago and my step-father bailed on them. I took them on as my own, the birth certificate had myself listed as the mother and they were adopted by me so, I don't think of them as my sisters." I said. I saw his smile widen.

"That very compassionate of you. What are their names?"

"Sarah Rosalie and Mary Alice. Mary prefers Alice but I've always called her Mary or Mary Alice." I said smiling proudly.

"They are beautiful names. So, I think class is going to start soon, can I see you again?" He asked almost hesitant. I smiled and pulled out a pad of paper and black pen. I wrote down my cell number, address and the address of the bar I worked in.

"This is my cell, home address and the bar I work in. I work tonight from 9 – 12 so you should come. I usually start singing around 10." I said and he nodded and stood up. He took one last look at me and left saying.

"Its was great meeting you Isabella." For once In my life I didn't mind that he called me Isabella.

**March 20th 2011;**

**Cold Blood Club**

_**"...Ain't got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer  
Ain't got no money in ma pocket, but I'm already here  
And now the dudes are linin up cause they hear we got swagger  
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger**_

_**I'm talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk  
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk  
Gonna smack him if their getting too drunk, drunk  
Now, now - we goin till they kick us out, out  
but the police shut us down, down  
police shut us down,  
police shut us -down**_

_**Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, imma fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Woah-oh oh oh  
Woah-oh oh oh (x2)**_

_**you build me up  
You break me down  
My heart, it pounds  
Yeah, you got me  
With my hands up  
You got me now  
You got that sound  
Yea, you got me**_

_**you build me up  
You break me down  
My heart, it pounds  
Yeah, you got me  
With my hands up  
Put your hands up  
Put your hands up**_

_**Now, the party don't start til I walk in...**_

_**Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, imma fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Woah-oh oh oh  
Woah-oh oh oh" **_I finished my first song of the night with a smile. It was one of my own and I was very proud of it. I had written it with Leah and Emily's help almost a year ago. I slowly got down from the stage as the crowd roared and I took my black and white waitress apron from Sandra another waitress and smiled.

"Thanks Sandy" I said and she smiled and walked away. The uniform was skimpy, it was a corset like black top that showed everything from just above the belly button down and low cut black skirt with a three inch slit on each side. Black boots were a must, mine were leather and ankle length. My hair was curled and in a pony tail with two curled bangs falling into my face. I didn't care for the uniform but I loved the club and my job. As I walked behind the counter I smiled as I saw a blond head watching me. He wore a dark blue shirt with a white and silver button down shirt over it and his jeans were dark wash and he had a belt with this large buckle, you'd see on cowboys. I could picture him in a cowboy hat but he wasn't wearing one.

Smiling coyly I walked in front of him and leaned forward slightly, "You've kept me waiting long enough," I spoke and he looked at me with shock before ducking his head like a good southern gentlemen and said his voice amused yet sincere.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." He said and I walked around the bar and held out my hand. He looked at before taking it no hesitation in his blue eyes. I chuckled and spun around before leading him to the dance floor.

"So, tell me about yourself?" I asked, as I swung my hips to the beat of save a horse, ride a cowboy. He looked torn between grabbing my hips and speaking but as I ground my hips into his he smiled and chuckled before wrapping his arms around my slim waist and I wrapped mine around his neck, continuing to swing my hips in circles and into his hips.

"Whats to say? My name is Dean Jasper Whitlock, I'm From Houston, Texas and I used to be in the Military before I decided to become a Doctor. I'm 26 years old and have one sister and a uncle. What about you Ma'am?" He said accent becoming more pronounced. I almost swooned, my legs going weak but I kept my cool.

"Whats to say?" I began mocking Dean. He chuckled and I continued, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan, I'm 21 almost 22 and I'm getting my degree in education come June. I have two adopted daughters and...a son.." I stopped as the words got stuck in my throat. At this point the music had stopped and was changing to a different song.

"A son? Bella is something wrong, I didn't mean to bring something up you weren't ready for." Dean said as he looked into my green/brown eyes. I smiled, he was so sweet.

"Its, just I lost my baby a few years ago, a miscarriage brought on by something this jackass was putting in the Halloween candy. Not long after one of my best friends died and my fiance left me at the alter. I'm not actually sure the baby was a boy, but I think he was, I named him Blaise, just in case I was wrong about the gender." I stopped, I was rambling and I didn't want to ramble about this to him. Dean's blue eyes softened In understanding.

"I understand, I was once married but she died in childbirth along with our baby. A daughter named Sydney." Dean replied and I looked at him with sympathy. Turning to the stage and a clock that was on the wall behind the bar. I smiled and pulled him to the front. I went onto the stage and whispered something into the bands ears and they nodded and I took the mike.

"Hey! Well for my last song tonight I'm going to do something different. So If you could all send your attention to the bar, me and my girls are gonna make some music." I said into the mike and the crowd erupted and I jumped off the stage and with the help of two of the girls was hosted up onto the bar. The bar was very similar to what you'd find in that movie coyote ugly.

"OWAH!" I yelled into the mike as the music began. It was a song by brook valentine - some chick fro the early 2000's, I hadn't heard much of her after this song came out.

"**Its about to be a what!  
Girl fight !**

**We bout to throw dem bows  
We bout to swang dem thangs**

**There's about to be a what? Girlfight!" **I began as I began moving with the other two girls. My friend John was up on stage doing the parts meant for a man to sing.

**"...There she go talkin' her mess  
All around town makin' me stress  
I need to get this off my chest  
And if her friend want some then she'll be next  
It really ain't that complicated  
Y'all walking round looking all frustrated  
Want some plex come on let's make it  
Ya acting real hard but I know ya fakin'**

**Know you really don't wanna step to dis  
Really don't know why you talkin' shit  
You 'bout to catch one right in the lip  
It's about to be a what? Girlfight!**

**We bout to throw dem bows  
We bout to swang dem thangs**

**It's about to be a what? Girlfight!" **Through this part I twirled around on the bar, my boots making clicking sound along with my two friends. I began grinding with Cody – a girl – as I continued on to the next verse smirking at Dean who was in the crowd smiling.

**"We on our way to ya neighborhood  
The reason why we comin' is understood  
Me and my girls we down to ride  
So when you hear us pull up bring ya butt outside  
And if you try to call ya cousin and nem  
Don't forget that I got some of dem  
'Bout to go real hard 'bout to swang dem thangs  
'Bout to feel elbows all in ya brain**

**Know you really don't wanna step to dis  
Really don't know why you talkin' shit  
You 'bout to catch one right in the lip  
It's about to be a what? Girlfight!**

**We bout to throw dem bows  
We bout to swang dem thangs  
It's 'bout to be a what? Girlfight!**

**Oh! I know you don't want me to split yo dome!  
Girl you makin me really mad...  
Oh! I know you don't want me to split yo dome!  
I'm about to bruise ya face and it's sad..."** I put the mike to my side and began dancing around shaking my ass as I twirled and dipping it low before I began to walk around and dance against Cody and Sandra. As I was doing this John began his part.

"**Oh snap these bitches they act like cats  
In the middle of the dance floor now they preparing to scrap  
They takin out their scrunchies and pullin' off their pressons  
The one on the right is the girlfriend and the one the left is the other woman  
Someone please call security  
These girls too purty  
To get down to the nitty titty  
I mean the nitty gritty  
I mean her tiitty pretty  
I'm trippin'  
Being silly willy  
Man go on let them hos fight" **I laughed as I began the final verse. **  
**  
**"We bout to throw dem bows  
We bout to swang dem thangs**

**It's about to be a what? ...Girlfight!**

**Don't act like you don't know  
We right outside yo door  
See you peekin' out the window  
I know you ain't talking noise no more**

**Bitch come outside  
Don't act like you don't see me  
I know you heard me pullin' up uh  
Come outside, uh, come outside, uh  
We down to ride  
It's about to be a... Girlfight!" **I smiled as the crowed cheered and I jumped down and made my way to Dean.

"So how can I get in contact with you? I really like you, and I'd like to get to know you cowboy." I said coyly as I stood in front of him. He laughed, smiling a smile that I had to take another look at because it brought images of Jasper into my head, not that I had seen him smile often but Dean and Jasper were eerily similar.

"Of course Darlin', here's my number." He said and gave me a piece of paper with his numbers and home address. I smiled and leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek before I grabbed him and pulled him onto the dance floor.

"Lets dance, Cowboy." I said as I began dancing against him.

**A/N: Well here it is the beginning of Book II. I hope it is good enough, I am happy with the length anyways. it might be a while until the next chapter as i wish to focus a bit more on my new story Penombra..but I promise to update before the end of June. Also the songs are Tik Tok by Kesha and Girl Fight by Brooke Valentine. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Like I never Existed : Book II**

**Chapter 2: Q & A**

**Lily (That's me!) : Ok, so this chapter isn't really a chapter. I am very sorry for that, but I will put a teaser at the end so you know what to expect for the real Chapter 2. This is a Q & A, Questions and Answers. I also have some special guest with me, Welcome Bella, Edward, Alice and Dean - Who isn't much of a talker. **

**Bella: Yep! That's wright! :Nods:**

**Edward: :Sighs: I don't really understand why I am here, I'm not supposed to be around Bella! Its Dangerous! **

**Alice : :Glares at Edward: Over protective Fool, you know your and Bella's fate lays in Lily's hands, she could be cruel if she really wanted to. :Grins evilly, a knowing look in her eyes.:**

**Dean: She is the physic one, I'd tread carefully buddy.**

**Bella: Oh Dean your hear, we still on for that coffee date Tomorrow? **

**Edward: :Grumbles, looking down:**

**Alice: :Giggles: Serves you wright fool :mutters at vampire speed.:**

**Lily: Ok enough banter on to the Questions, first we have Mistress Sandman! Of course she really couldn't be here in...person..but here is her very question, word for word. **

**Mistress Sandman: **

**Q: I admit I am asking questions, but I am not necessarily expecting answers-though I would adore that, I would understand completely if you would a)rather not or b)simply do not have the time and/or inclination to do so...**

**As for the first chapter? It was very sad but since I have basically read it before not too bad...very well done though...the whole story is, probably why I have so many questions...**

**Bella is going to look 25 when they re-meet? So there are quite a few chapters-books, perhaps?-before they meet again...I am simply curious, wouldn't it be better for her to appear not a day over 20? Since Edward looks 17, perhaps upwards of 19? I am merely curious...it sounds like the hunter in her is slowing her aging...although not stopping it...or will she stop aging, become immortal? I could see her reunited with Edward and not asking him to turn her because of the twins and then winding up pregnant with his baby/babies and with all she has been through being turned after the baby/babies are born and having control over he bloodlust...**

**Please tell me she will not be married to Dean when Edward returns though? He seems like such a sweet character... **

**Bella: Ooh..that's a good question. Do I get to have Edward's babies Lils?**

**Edward: :Smirks, then frowns: That's not possible.**

**Alice: :Rolls eyes: That what he thinks. :Mutters softly to Bella.:**

**Lily: I agree Bells, its a good question, and as for the babies thing..maybe...possibly.**

**As for the first question about her age, Yes I did say she'd look 25, and I'll explain that more in a bit. As for how many books/Chapters originally there was going to be only Three, but the babies thing got me thinking and in the third book when they meet again she is already Pregnant and I won't have Edward and Bella jumping into bed together within a day of meeting each other again. **

**Now on to her age. You would be wright to say the Hunter gene is what is slowing her age, but by no means is she going to stop aging and be immortal. That is to overly done and expected and I don't want to give Edward a reason to not change her so they can be equals. Now With Edward looking 17, I believe age is in the eye of the beholder. For instance someone could be the age of 16 and people will guess their ages and some may think she looks 19, while other think she could be no older then 14. For instance someone could believe she looks no older then 20, or 19, or even 27. **

**The point of saying 25 was she is a high school teacher, I don't want those students to think they can get away with anything because she looks so young. The same thing goes for Edward, he usually plays that of a 17 year old and he was turned at the age, but he had been to medical school time before as stated in the books...so he would have to be able to pass for older then 17, like up to 25 if they really pushed it, as it was Carlisle was changed at 23 and he can fool people into believing he was 30. Not to mention with the proper paper work we will believe almost anything not to mention now days it really hard to tell how old someone is. **

**My little sister is only 15 but she could pass as a 17 year old if she tried. As for her still being married when Edward returns, no she will not be. She will have since divorced him, but they will still be best of friends. I know it seems weird for Ex spouses to be on such good terms but I don't think it is unheard of. There will be more on that latter, in Book Three when the Cullen's finally return. As for the Club scene, that will be rare. You have to remember Bella is no longer a awkward 17 year old girl, and Dean is not a perfect sparkling Vampire. She is at ease with him, as they are already pretty much equals both being mortal and all. The dancing was OOC, but she grew up and that is my excuse. She has been through a lot of shit and its changed her, not only is she a mother of twins but she has to work and go to school and do this alone, she'd found a joy in singing and dancing. Don't get me wrong she doesn't do that every night, she was flirting, even if she didn't totally realize it. She is still Bella though so no worries. **

**I hope that answered everything for you Mistress Sandman, I enjoyed your review and hope to see more. **

**Bella: Wow, did you breath at all during that?**

**Lily: :Sweat drops: I'm sure I did Bella, now moving on!**

**Edward: Yes, lets. I don't want to put Bella in anymore danger then necessary.**

**Alice: Ignore him. **

**Dean: I know I am. :Grins:**

**Lily: Anyway on to Becky66's Question. Like before she can not be here in person but maybe some day. **

**Becky66: **

**Q: Will Edward ever find Bella with the 'charm' she protects herself with?**

**Lily: would it be terrible for me to point out that I as the author have forgotten what 'Charm' you mean? I thought so, but I do have a vague idea of what you are referring to, so yes this means he can not find her, but it also means Alice can not see her in her visions, if she was allowed to actually look. This is one reason why They have no idea Bella is in..well where they move to in Book Three until she teaches them English. So that was pretty straight to the point, I still haven't decided what to do about Victoria, kill her before or after the Cullen's make there grand return? **

**Bella: Before, I would like to not worry to much about the Twins when I'm not around.**

**Dean: I second that motion. **

**Alice: I won't tell...:mutters at vampire speed -: Not that I can see her anymore, damn.**

**Edward: Hmmmm...**

**Bella: :Rolls eyes: He said a syllable, its a miracle. **

**Lily: Yes, yes, that's all very interesting and all but lets move on to the next question. I'm already on Page three and you can now guess why I didn't want to put this at the top of the next chapter. :Sighs: Ok next is...oh look Mistress Sandman is back, lets see what else she wants to know. **

**Mistress Sandman: **

**Q: Wow, so when is Edward coming back into Bella's life? Is Bella's relationship with Dean going to be a long one or a short one where she realizes they are better suited as friends who enjoy ****dancing, going to dinner, and companionship? It sounds like Dean is perhaps Jasper's great-something nephew?**

**I am so glad Bella is no longer clumsy-especially with the babies...**

**I think I read somewhere in this story that Bella will not age as quickly because of her hunter's blood?**

**She said it has been two years since Edward left her-even if it was almost three years wouldn't that make her 20 going on 21?**

**So Edward returned home, please tell me he has not taken up with Tanya or something to appease his family-which actually, I doubt would since they know vamps mate for life and they would not appreciate the deception on any level, so ignore that question.**

**It is a great chapter. How much longer will it be before Bella is reunited with the Cullens? I do hope all that she has been through gives her the strength to not break down when she sees them...I am rather pleased she has that amulet (pendant?) that blocks her scent though...so no vamps-Cullens included-will consider snacking on her...is she still doing her training?  
**

**Lily: Well to begin yes Dean is Jasper's great-great-great...Nephew. There may be more greats considering how old Jasper is but I was never great with that, maybe latter I'll work out how many greats there are. Also I am almost embarrassed to say you are wright. Somewhere along the way I found out the proper era for Twilight-New moon and I never realized I set it in the 2007-2008 era instead of the 2005-2006 era. She is almost 21, she probably wouldn't be aloud in a bar such as cold blood with her age but lets pretend she is...or I could be wrong, I'm only 17. **

**No Edward and Tanya will be nothing more then friends/cousins. Lets assume she got over her thing for Edward years ago, especially after he met Bella. I am unaware how many chapters Book II will be, but they will return in Book III. I don't want to rush it, I want to let people be aware of how Bella is growing up without the Cullen's but at the same time she still loves and depends on them - take her daughters names for example. Rosalie after Rosalie and Mary Alice after Alice who's birth name is Mary Alice, though if you'll remember Bella has no idea her first name is actually Mary, she name Mary Alice after Alice and Dr. Yules daughter who died. **

**She is still training, but not as often, as I said The pack as nothing left to teach her, but that doesn't mean she is letting her guard down completely, not to mention I still have a twist to throw in. **

**Alice: Jasper's nephew, that makes me his aunt. Hmm...anything I should now Bella?**

**Bella: Of course not...:nervous laugh:**

**Lily: Ok lets not tease Bella. Now I think that is all. To let everyone know if there are anymore questions, something similar to this, only much shorter, will be at the top of each chapter, so I suggest keeping a eye out there. Now on to Chapter 2...Teaser. **

**

* * *

**

Smiling Bella laughed, she hadn't been this happy since...well since she had begun dating Jacob but even then she was never this happy. Her happiness with Jacob had bee forced and faked, something she had only realized after their relationship was over.

"I can't believe that, you really lost to your sister?" I asked. Dean nodded, a small blush making its way up his cheeks, though he'd deny it if asked.

"In front of every kid on the block we lived. I probably should have known better, Crystal was always a bit of a tomboy." Dean laughed. I smiled, and took a sip of my coffee. I had been weary about agreeing to this, it was not exactly classified as a date but even a idiot could tell that was what he meant and even if part of me was screaming to agree to the date aspect of it, the other part was screaming at me to run before I got hurt.

"Sounds nice, if I don't count Sarah and Mary then I've never really had a sibling. My half brother, Harry lives with my step-sister as her son. She isn't able to carry her own children, but they do have a set of twins thanks to a nice surrogate mother. I would have volunteered but I had just lost my own child and had the twins to care for, I wasn't ready to be pregnant again even if it wasn't my baby." I said, my eyes locked firmly on the dark liquid in the cup.

"It sounds like you've had a rough time. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much, but from what I've seen your a great mother." Dean replied smiling and I looked up at him, my green eyes locking with his ice blue. I felt warm inside, almost like I was glowing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Like I Never Existed Book II**

**Chapter 2: Missing**

**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll look up,  
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
"Isn't something missing?"**

**You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant...?  
Am I so insignificant...?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**

**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
I know what you do to yourself,  
I breathe deep and cry out,  
"Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?"**

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
Knowing you don't care.  
And if I sleep just to dream of you  
I'll wake without you there,  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't something...**

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**

**Missing by Evanescence**

**

* * *

**

**1 ½ years latter**

**APOV:**

**March 20th 2011,**

It had been nearly four full years since we made the worst mistake in our immortal lives. We had abandoned the girl who snuck her way into our cold dead hearts and molded herself into our everyday lives, every one missed her. It was apparent in our mannerisms, even Rosalie was effected no matter how much she tried to deny it. Rosalie had the most human memories out of all of us, she knew almost everything about her life from the ages of 17 to 18, and her parents names and the fact she had two dotting brothers, but Rosalie had always wanted a sister to bond with. She had seen the chance with Bella, but Rosalie was stubborn, just like Bella, she'd rather die before admit the doe eyed human got to her.

I didn't think anyone realized this until after we had left Forks. Edward had wallowed in some attic in South America or something for six months, possibly longer before we could get him home but even after he returned nothing went back to normal. My visions were out of sink but it didn't matter because Edward had forbid me from looking into Bella's future. This didn't mean I did not get snippets every now and then, as blurry as they were, but they had all but stopped a year and half ago. I hadn't seen anything since 2009, well actual it would have been Halloween of 2008? Don't ever say a vampire can not forget, because even we do not have perfect memories.

I couldn't help but wounder if Bella was ok? If maybe Edward had been right, I didn't have memories of my human life or know if I missed anything from then. I had woken as a vampire and that moment was like the first breath of a newborn baby for me. I couldn't tell you if I liked chocolate, or vanilla, or if I liked my hair long or short. If I preferred to be called Mary or Alice, or the simple fact of if I wanted children and a family one day. I could assume I did, but knowing myself, I didn't think I would have. I had been in that Asylum for years, with no hope of being released from what we found so why would my human self think of such things as marriage and babies. I did know that if I was given the chance to have one with Jasper...then I would happily take it, but I find no use putting myself through suffering for something I can't have, unlike Rose who seems to like the reminder that she is unable to bare children.

I had decided to keep silent about the fact I hadn't been getting visions of Bella, it wasn't like I was allowed to look anyway. I would rather avoid a fight with Edward. I had been silent for most fights that broke out. Rosalie and Edward being the ones to cause the most fights, then Emmett would come to Rose's rescue causing a bigger fight.

"What are you thinking so hard about darlin'?" A honey voice whispered into my ear. I smiled as I felt Jasper's strong scarred arms wound around my small waist. I continued to look out my large window leaning my head back against his chest, or close enough to his chest, it was actually closer to his abdomen then his chest because of my small height.

"It's nothing." I said.

"Don't give me that bull, you never go this far into thought unless its something serious." Jasper replied. I sighed, I had forgotten how observant my husband was. Closing my golden eyes I sighed, breathing in unneeded breath and turned in his arms so I was facing him, but like always I had to look up to stare into his matching eyes. I wondered briefly what his eyes would have looked like as a human?

"I was wondering if things would have been different if we had never left Forks, or Bella." I said. I made sure to keep my voice low, I had become very good at keeping Edward out of my thoughts so I now had to make sure he wouldn't hear me.

Jasper's face became pained and he stroked my face before kissing me softly.

"It would have been, it would have been what should have been, but we can not change the past. We also can't force Edward to do what he doesn't want, we are a family, and we can't leave him because we have to keep him from doing something stupid. Bella has her parents, and friends, maybe someday soon Edward will pull his head out of his ass and we will find her and be a real family. If she takes him back is another thing all together, personally I wouldn't." Jasper answered. I smiled and chuckled.

"I don't blame you, I'd rather tare him apart and hide some of the pieces." Jasper chuckled and smiled before hugging me. We fit together like broken pieces, our love and hearts being our glue which held us together.

"I love you, Ali." Jasper whispered.

"I love you too, Jazzy." I answered back.

**BPOV**

**March 27th 2011,**

It had been about a week since I met Dean on campus. He had shown up at the club almost every day since our heart to heart. He was a very considerate man, handsome and he made me laugh. The Twins also seemed to like the older man, Sarah had even begun playing with his beautiful blond hair as he read them a book on the living room floor. I had never seen my girls take to someone so quickly and since the day he had met the twins they had been hooked on the man's attention. I couldn't deny that I myself liked the blonds attention. His southern accent was all it took for my heart to melt and I found myself blushing for the first time in almost three years. Not even Jacob had been able to get these reactions out of me.

I had seen Dr. Yule again after he had shown up at Dean's apartment on the 25th. It had been the first time I had seen Dean's place of residence and I was not surprised to find it organized and tidy. Dean was very disciplined and responsible but this could be from a strong household or his time in the military. Dr. Yule had been shocked to see me again, but also very happy. We had all sat down and talked for hours before I had to leave and pick up the twins from Marissa's - the teenaged babysitter who lived three doors down.

"Mommy, is Mr. Whitlock coming back?"Sarah asked. I smiled, and nodded my head as I washed the last of the dishes, drawn out of my thoughts. Mary Alice looked up from coloring upon hearing the man's name.

"Really! When Mama?" She asked. I sighed, I had to get ready soon if I was going to make it to the coffee date with Dean. It wasn't a official date but I had seen all the signals, I was hoping he had read mine.

"Today dear, but not until latter. Now you've both got to come with me so we can get you to Stacy's house. You like her, the black haired girl who watched you last night." I said as I dried the last dish. I turned and walked to the table, helping Mary Alice clean the crayons up. She handed me the last crayon, a golden colored one which I tried not to pay much attention to before hopping down and putting her coloring book into a small purple backpack for toddlers. I smiled and put her crayons in as well before zipping it up for her. Sarah had one on a well, a pink one but hers was already ready to go and zipped.

"You two ready?"I asked.

"Sir, yes, Sir!" I laughed and guided them out the front door. Held there small hands as we walked a few blocks down the road to a brick house, only six houses down from our own. I rang the door bell and as I waited I looked at the twins with a stern face.

"You two behave for Stacy, if I hear you were terrorizing the babysitter again I'll take bubble privileges away for a week."They both gasped. Bubbles were very important to them when it was bath time. I had learned a good punishment or threat was to say I'd take away bubbles from their bath water and they usually, usually, did as told. They had recently gotten off punishment the other day so they were fast to nod. As they did, their little pigtails flying up and down the door opened and Stacy looked at me smiling. Her hair was pitch black and eyes were almost as dark, darker brown then mine had ever been, but still very beautiful.

"Hi Ms. Swan! Sarah, Alice!" She greeted. I almost winced as she said Mary's name, the girl could not stand anyone but me calling her Mary or Mary Alice, to anyone else she was simply Alice. She lived up to that name as well, god forbid you take her to a shopping mall, much less utter the word 'shopping' in her presence.

"Thank you for doing this Stacy. I know you have other things you'd rather do."I said. The twins took this as a single to run into the house and onto the couch.

"No worries, I hadn't planed anything today anyways. Have fun on your date Ms. Swan." I smiled, and nodded.

"Thank you, have fun girls! Godspeed."I muttered to her, she chuckled. It was a little joke between friends, all the babysitters knew it. I had several quit because of what 'hellions' Sarah and Mary were. Stacy never complained unlike others. Getting back to the house I quickly showered and dressed in a attractive little black puff hem dress with spaghetti straps. It hugged my curves just right. A pair of black leather/lace pumps – the heels were a good five inches if not more but I had confidence I wouldn't trip after two years of practice - and I applied a light covering of make-up. Soft brown/gold eyeshadow brought out the brown in my brown/green eyes and a bit of lip gloss. My shoulder length hair was parted at the side, and slightly wavy. To finish my look I put in my white topaz medieval cross earrings and slipped on a blue topaz ring matching a necklace which lay against my chest. Looking in the mirror I knew Alice would approve if she was here, I also realized that three years ago I wouldn't be caught dead in this outfit, it was amazing what so little time could do to a person. Walking down the stairs I grabbed my black coach clutch purse in black and a long tan/brown womens trench coat before exiting the house. I got into my car and drove to the cafe in town where I would await Dean.

**-TIME SKIP**

**Twenty minutes latter -**

I didn't have to wait for long after arriving. He sat down across from me as I decided to take off my trench coat. I was very amused and happy to see his eyes roam over my body as I did so.

"How are you, sorry if I'm late." Dean said as he looked over the menu. I had already looked over mine and decided on the bake-zitti and iced tea.

"I'm fine, and you aren't late. I've only been here five minutes at the most." I said as we ordered and handed the menus in. Dean smiled, it was a smile I was growing to really like when directed at me.

"How are Sarah and Alice?"Dean asked. I smiled, Mary Alice was getting everyone used to calling her Alice, a start for when they started school I figured. I was just glad Mary Alice didn't look anything like..Alice Cullen, otherwise I'd be hard pressed to call her anything but Mary.

"They are fine, growing like weeds. You? I heard Dr. Yule left back to Phoenix yesterday." I thanked the waiter as they sat our food in front of us, it was always fast serves here and it was very much appreciated. Dean laughed as he picked up his fork, he had ordered the shrimp pasta. We sat and ate, making small talk as we did. We discussed school and what we planed to do after, I was unsure, but I did plan to stay in Cambridge for some years to come. Eventually I'd make a living as a teacher, something I'd enjoy doing. It would not pay the greatest salary but I didn't want my girls spoiled either, we'd make do just fine.

After we ate we simply sat and talked, he told me of his home life, something we had briefly touch on before hand. He had five sisters - though he had only one living sister, the others had died at birth from birth complications and one uncle. Dr. Yule was his Mother, Kathrine's, brother. His father, Jasper - ironic as that was - had been a only child.

Smiling I laughed, I hadn't been this happy since...well since I had begun dating Jacob but even then I was never this happy. My happiness with Jacob had bee forced and faked, something I had only realized after our relationship was over.

"I can't believe that, you really lost to your sister?" I asked. Dean nodded, a small blush making its way up his cheeks, though he'd deny it if asked.

"In front of every kid on the block we lived. I probably should have known better, Crystal was always a bit of a tomboy." Dean laughed. I smiled, and took a sip of my coffee – having already ate the small slice of chocolate cake. I had been weary about agreeing to this, it was not exactly classified as a date but even a idiot could tell that was what he meant and even if part of me was screaming to agree to the date aspect of it, the other part was screaming at me to run before I got hurt.

"Sounds nice, if I don't count Sarah and Mary then I've never really had a sibling. My half brother, Harry, lives with my step-sister as her son. She isn't able to carry her own children, but they do have a set of twins thanks to a nice surrogate mother. I would have volunteered but I had just lost my own child and had the twins to care for, I wasn't ready to be pregnant again even if it wasn't my baby." I said, my eyes locked firmly on the dark liquid in the cup.

"It sounds like you've had a rough time. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much, but from what I've seen your a great mother." Dean replied smiling and I looked up at him, my green eyes locking with his ice blue. I felt warm inside, almost like I was glowing.

"Thank you, it means a lot. Does Crystal still live in Houston?" I asked after a moment. He laughed and shook his head.

"No, Crystal hated the sun in Texas, Phoenix was worse for her so once she was 18 she high tailed it to Alaska. She loves it there, she lives in Anchorage with her husband, Teddy. They had three children – James, Anne, and Katherine." He finished. I smiled, she sounded like a nice girl, the opposite of me concerning the sun and all. Looking at the watch on my wrist, its diamond encrusted face, a gift from Leah and Emily on my last birthday.

"That's lovely, do you want to go to my house? Its just it's getting late and I need to get Sarah and Mary from Stacy's house." I said after looking up. Dean nodded and pulled out two tens and few ones before throwing them down on the table. He was a gentlemen, and had always insisted he pay for the meals we ate together, even if I was stubborn the first time or two and left a five on the table as well. It was simply seen a tip by the waitress or waiter. Getting up we pushed our chairs in and left. I got into my Black BMW, the same one I had when I left Forks almost two years ago. He got into a Black Mercedes and followed me home. It would have been humorous thinking of it, because of the saying, dogs will follow you home or something similar.

"I'll run and get the girls, its the red brick house wright?"Dean asked as we both pulled into my drive way. I nodded and locked the car door smiling as I watched him jog over to Stacy's house for the girls. I quickly went into the house, leaving the door open, yet the screen door closed. I hung my purse up beside the coat stand and laughed as two little balls of hyperactive energy collided with my knees, almost knocking me off my feet.

"Mommy! Mommy! Stacy got us birthday presents."They both cried in unison. They let go after a moment, their little blond heads looking up at me. I raised a eyebrow, their birthdays had been in January, but then again we had only known Stacy for a week or two.

"Your birthdays were last most though." They both smiled and held up dolls. Sarah held a beautiful Victorian doll, with brown curls, and dark eyes. She was of course dressed in the Victorian style and looked to be about 18 inches tall. I could tell it had to cost a pretty penny. Mary's was almost the same as her sisters, though instead 18 inches it seemed to be a bit taller, 22 inches, and its dress was a little less puffier, possible set a few years ahead of Sarah's doll, and her hair was golden blond. They were both gorgeous dolls and seemed to cost a lot. I smiled, I knew Stacy would be able to handle the twins, unlike others who had quit after the first week or day as some had. She knew her girls had tempers and stubborn streaks but she didn't think they were that bad.

"She said they were late birthday gifts, because she missed ours."Sarah answered.

"Well, that was nice of her. Why don't you to go play with them in your rooms." I suggested and they nodded and ran off. Dean smiled after watching the girls run up the stairs.

"I was wright, you are a great mother. Do they know they are adopted?" He asked. I sighed and motioned for him to follow me into the living room. We both took a seat beside each other on the couch and I folded my hands into my lap.

"No, I don't want to tell them until they start school. So around six or five. I want them to know I still love them, and I don't think they'd understand at them moment." I replied.

"Sounds reasonable. I think you'll know when the time is wright."I smiled at him, he really was a lot like Jasper, at least from what I could recall. Out of all the Cullens, Jasper was the one I knew the lest about, but I was almost positive Dean and Jasper had to be related somehow.

"Thank you."I said, reaching out to take one of his larger hands into mine. I blushed at the contact, and looked up into his eyes, which were closer then I expected. He was inches away from my face and as we breathed in a out, I could smell his breath, it was sweet, cold, and like mint, I just hoped mine didn't smell horrible. We inched closer and finally I felt his lips on mine. It was like fireworks, the best kiss I had had in year, in that moment I lost what self restraint I had and lurched forward, throwing my arms around his neck and deepening the kiss. Dean wasn't resisting, but helping me along by kissing me deeper, and pulling me into his lap.

"We..have to...stop," I had to force out between kissing. "No, seriously the girls could come down any moment." I said as I pulled back and caught my breath. Dean nodded, ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me." He said.

"It's ok, I liked it." Dean smiled back at me and kissed me softly before taking my hand.

"I know this may be too soon, but, will you be my girlfriend Isabella?" He asked. I chuckled, and smiled, nodding. At that moment the Cullens were the furthest thing from my mind as I pulled him into another kiss.

**-April 5th 2011:**

"Happy 27th birthday Dean!"We all called as he blew out the candles the twins insisted he have on his cake. He was smiling as he did just that, I couldn't help but wonder what his wish was. We had decided on a small party, Stacy was here, along with the twins and his sister Crystal and her husband and kids. They were each adorable. Crystal looked exactly as I imagined her to being Dean's sister, yet something else about her appearance made me think of Alice – Cullen. She was petite, only 5'1 and her hair was dark brown, not blond like Deans or Black like their mothers - or so Dean had said. It was long and curly and her eyes were the same blue as Dean's yet she reminded me so much of my once best friend. I shook it off though, it could simply be a coincidence.

Crystal's husband, Teddy was a tall man, built like a swimmer. He had a head full of curly black hair and startling hazel eyes. He also had adorable dimples, and a goofy grin, a reminder of Emmett, yet he looked the complete opposite. Crystal was two years older then Dean and Teddy was her age. Their kids, James, Anne, and Katherine were all adorable. James was the oldest at seven. He looked like his father, with ink black curly hair yet his eyes were the striking blue of his mother. He seemed very protective of his younger sisters and in return my girls who had befriended his sisters.

Anne was the middle child at five. She had long ringlets of golden blond curls that fell to her shoulders and her fathers hazel eyes. While she did take after her mother, it was in her facial shape and mouth, the rest was simply her father down to the dimples. Katherine was the youngest at Three, though unlike my girls she was turning four in May. Kat as she preferred was a sweet girl, with long wavy/curly black hair and her mothers blue eyes. If it was not for the fact each child looked like his or her mother and father you'd never guess they were related to Anne who had her uncles blond curls. While the men all wore simple things, such as jeans and a t-shirt, or dress shirt as was James' case, us females had all dressed to impress in a way.

Crystal was dressed in a simple white peasant summer dress that fell a few inches above her knees. White basic ballet pumps covered her feet and the only jewelry she wore was her wedding rings and a heart shaped locket. Anne and Katherine both had on white tank dresses, Anne's dress was embroidered with red flowers and Kat's had a embroidered flower and butterfly on its right side. They looked very cute in their dresses and slip on shoes in red and silver. Sarah and Mary Alice also wore coordinating outfits, only in different colors. Sarah had on a animal print purple tank top and a lighter purple knit tulle skirt and little purple jelly sandals. Mary Alice had on the exact same thing except in pink.

I was dressed in a tiny bow front dress that fell to just above my knees, a pair a sling back green pumps and a emerald crescent moon pendent and emerald green claddagh ring which Dean had gotten me after dating for two weeks.

"Thanks guys." Dean laughed. We all smiled and me and Crystal set about getting pieces of cake for the girls and James. As they all went to the sit in the floor and eat their cake, Crystal and Teddy took a seat and I followed their example.

"So, Bella Dean tells us so much about you! I'm sorry we didn't get to properly meet each other before but with the kids, I'm sure you understand." Crystal began, handing Teddy a piece of cake. I smiled, I had been waiting to get to know her as well.

"Its fine, Dean tells me you beat him up when you where kids, in front of the whole block. I congratulate you." I said laughing. Crystal nodded, breaking into laughter. Dean rolled his eyes and took a bite of cake while Teddy tried to keep from laughing his cheeks full of cake.

"Yes, he never lived that down. What about you? He never really told us much about your childhood?"Crystal asked.

"Not much to tell. My mother and I lived in Phoenix since I was eight. I was a only child until...well my mother died giving birth to the twins,"I began lowering my voice so the twins would not hear.

"I adopted them myself, as her new husband didn't want anything to do with them. My dad remarried not long after and I gained a step-sister and step-brother. My step-mother got pregnant and died with my father in a car crash, though they were able to save my brother. Harrison was named by my step-sister and her husband. I was recovering from a miscarriage at the time, Leah my sister, couldn't have her own children so I let her keep him like she wanted. It was for the best." I finished, a tear leaking down my face as I did.

Crystals eyes were wide and her hand was over mouth. After a moment she leaped forward and hugged me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." She mutters.

"It's ok, you'd have known sooner or latter." She smiled and then leaned back and put a piece of cake on the plate and handed it to me.

"Chocolate is the cure of many things; broken hearts, tears, sadness, cramps..the list is never ending. The only thing it can't cure is weight gain." Crystal laughed and I joined her as I accepted the cake.

**A/N: Well here it is, i would like to point out that i had to go back and edit some of the chapters, starting at eight because of the fucked up dates. I messed up, it is really 2011, and it has been almost four years since Edward left. I hope you all enjoyed this trip down Dean's character and his family. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Like I Never Existed Book II**

**Chapter 2: Halo**

**I never promised you a ray of light,  
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,  
I give you everything I have, the good, the bad.  
Why do you put me on a pedestal,  
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,  
So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there.**

**One thing is clear,  
I wear a halo,  
I wear a halo when you look at me,  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
you wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you,  
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you**

**I always said that I would make mistakes,  
I'm only human, and that's my saving grace,  
I fall as hard as I try  
So don't be blinded  
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,  
so pull me from that pedestal,  
I don't belong there.**

**One thing is clear,  
I wear a halo,  
I wear a halo when you look at me,  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
you wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you,  
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you**

**Why you think that you know me  
But In your eyes  
I am something above you  
It's only in your mind  
Only in your mind  
I wear a  
I wear a  
I wear a Halo**

**One thing is clear,  
I wear a halo,  
I wear a halo when you look at me,  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
you wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you,  
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you**

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo **

**Haaaa ha-ha halo.**

**

* * *

**

**Harvard Campus:**

**Wednesday, June 29th 2011:**

**BPOV:**

I could hardly believe I was graduating. I had thought it would take me years, almost five, to complete my collage education but I had pushed myself to my limits to finish before three years and here I was, hardly two years latter, graduating with top honors. It didn't surprise Leah or Emily who sat in the crowd with their husbands and children, as well as Seth. Dean sat next to them as well with the twins. Every now and then I'd see Dean conversing with the two females whom I thought of as sisters. Paul and Sam were weary of him, being very protective of me since my failed wedding two years ago. I had since moved on, as had Jacob who married...Selena five months after he left me. They had a hard time getting pregnant and staying pregnant, Selena would miscarry before the third months was over. I didn't like the blond tart but I'd never wish that on anyone. Luckily for them last year they were blessed with a bouncing baby boy who they named William. I had heard this all from Billy, I had been insistent the man contact his son formally and get to know his new grandchild. Jared and Rachel had given him a granddaughter – Sarai – almost two years ago and Rebecca had two children, both boys but Billy didn't see them often because of her living in Hawaii.

"Now we welcome this years top student, one who had wowed the professors of this collage time and time again as she fought to graduate early. The one and only, Isabella Swan!" The Dean of the school called. I took a deep breath and smoothed out my gown and adjusted my cap before walking up to the podium. I smiled and bowed slightly as I accepted my degree and I was motioned to stand in front of the microphone. I didn't like the fact I was supposed to give a speech, public speaking had never been a strong suit, but being a teacher I'd have to learn to get over my shy behavior. I had come a long way, two years ago I'd have froze and most likely puked over the stand.

"Hello class of 2011, some of you may not know me, actually a lot of you wont know me, but that is neither there nor here. I was asked to give a small speech, but I really don't know much of what to say. Some of you wont care anyway, I know I never really listened to the speech give at my high school graduation. The fact remains though that I was asked to stand here and speak and I am doing just that. I came to this school hopping to get a education, so that I could earn a good income for my children, and for myself. I have now come to find, I have done just that but what I thought would take me five years has taken me barely two. If I can do that, then there isn't anything anyone can not do. You're all here because you've been given the chance to graduate, and that is a great honor no matter if it has taken you one year of six years. Just knowing your done with school and homework is reward enough. So I say, it's over. Congratulations class of 2011!" I finished. It wasn't the best and probably not everything my professors or The Dean thought I would say but the students seemed to really like it as they all stood up and tossed their caps.

**-TIME SKIP:**

"That was brilliant baby."Dean said, wrapping a arm around my waist. We had all gone home nearly a hour after the graduation and to my surprise Jared, Rachel and Billy stood in the living room with party supplies put around and a big cake and food on a folding table. I had been shocked but for some reason I knew I shouldn't have been. I finally took the time to take in the children while they were playing. Sarah and Mary were of course the oldest. Harry and Isa were the next eldest at three years of age. Isabella, my little name sake was growing like a weed, and she did look a lot like her mommy. Her hair was silky black and straight down her back, stopping at her shoulder blades and Emily had put it in braided pigtails. Her eyes were wide and nearly black, just like her Daddy's. Her skin was dark, darker then Emily's, like her fathers, and besides my girls, Harrison was the lightest complected.

Harry looked like my dad, it was obviously there in his black curls and pale skin - even if his pale skin had a sun kissed glow and wasn't near as pale as mine – but then besides a Vampire no ones skin was paler then mine. He had Sue's eyes, the silver/brown, unlike Leah's blue which she had inherited from her father. I had to wonder if he'd get the werewolf gene?

The Twins, Leah and Paul's, were the youngest besides Rachel's baby. Susan and Marie – Marie having been named after me and Susan being named for Leah's mom – were crawling around playing building blocks. They were only a year and half, their birthdays not being until October. Susan looked just like her mommy, and in effect so did Marie, only were as Marie had her mommy's blue eyes, Susan had her daddy's dark brown. Both had black hair, but both Leah and Paul had black hair as well. Sarai – Rachel and Jared's baby - was almost two, her birthday being in November, so she was the same age as Susan and Marie. She had dark skin of the Quileute and dark brown eyes but her hair was a dark brown, which Billy said was the same hair color as his late wife. My girls were of course the only pale – as pale as me – skinned, blonde haired identical twins - if you didn't count the eye color, around.

"He's absolutely wright! I thought I was going to cry, little sister is growing up Em!" Leah laughed, whipping away fake tears. Emily laughed her hand resting on her stomach, which I had seemed to over look upon first seeing her. It was probably because of the big jacket she had on before. She seemed to be at least six months pregnant. I smiled and asked, "When you gonna pop Emily? I didn't notice until now, you look lovely." Emily smiled, even with her scars she was beautiful.

"Sorry, I wanted it to be a surprise. I'm going into my sixth month. Sam and I are expecting a boy this time."She replied.

"Congratulations, I'm sure Isa is very exited." Emily laughed.

"She is, though she only really knows she is getting a brother. She seems to think mommy is just getting a little fat." She explained. I laughed as well and Leah joined up.

"Girls! Come join us, Dean here was just explaining to us how he met Bella!" Paul called, raising a cup which had a golden liquid in it. We all knew it wasn't ginger ale, or something kids would be drinking, but of course that was why they had a choice of apple juice or Sunny D.

"This is bound to be good. I bet she hit him with her car or something." Leah said as they turned to were our men were. I blushed as we walked over, I was going to skin that man alive for telling them this! I thought as I nervously smoothed out the wrinkles in my purple silk dress.

**-TIME SKIP:**

I smiled as I walked into my bedroom that night. Emily and the others had all left around nine and I had put the twins to bed at nine-thirty, way past their usual bedtime but I made a exception this time. I had on a seamed basque and thong set that was black and had a hot pink bow in the middle of the corset and the thong. It was at the moment covered by a flower embroidered silk white robe. I smiled as I saw Dean on my bed, his shirt off revealing his abs, which were very impressive if I do say so myself, and clad only in boxers.

"Wow, trying to give me a heart attack, Bell?" Dean asked, putting his hand over his heart. I giggled and sauntered over, swinging my hips as I did so. I stood in front of him, well to the side and slowly with a coy smile I undid the belt and with agonizing slow pace I opened it to revel the black lingerie. I giggled at his shocked lust filled gaze. It was not like we had not consummated our relationship, we had been dating for almost three full months, but this would be the first time I had worn something so...sexy for lack of better word.

"Damn Darlin', I didn't know you owned something like that." He muttered, never taking his eyes off me. I smiled and let the robe drop to the floor before climbing onto of him, straddling his stomach.

"You never asked, cowboy," I began, sliding my hands up and down his chest. I then leaned down, and whispered in his ear, "Though I've been saving this for a special occasion. You up for it?" I squealed as I was rolled over. I smiled up at Dean, his blue eyes had darkened eve so slightly with lust and love. It made my heart skip multiple beats seeing those emotions in his lovely eyes.

"Do you even have to ask, my little southern Belle?" He whispered in a husky voice. I loved it when he called me his southern belle, even though I wasn't exactly sure if me being from Phoenix made me a southern belle exactly, but Dean was insistent it didn't matter. I was so deep in thought I was shocked when his lips crashed into mine, I tried to wrap my arms around his neck but to my surprise they were restrained above my head. I pushed up into the kiss, throwing all the love and heat I could into it. I moaned as he trailed kisses down my jaw bone and to my collarbone. He began sucking the skin there, lighting a fire on my skin that moved down, I moaned and rotated my hips into his, causing him to moan, almost growl.

"Now cowboy we've got to be quiet, we don't want the girls to wake up do we?" I teased as he moved back up my neck to my lips. He smirked and rolled us back over so I was on top. He pulled back down into a kiss, and trails his hands down my stomach and up it to under my breast. I moaned but groaned in frustration, Dean loved the slow torture.

"Don't tease me!" I growled out. He chuckled before scooting up to sit against the headboard, kissing me harshly as he did. He wound his hands in my brown hair, pulling on it slightly, as I did the same to his blond hair, which was harder to do since he had cut it, so instead of curls it alternated between sticking up and around and curling.

"A dose of your own medicine lover." He muttered. I gritted my teeth and rocked my hips into his growing erection.

He gasped and I chuckled, "A dose of your own medicine lover." I mocked. He gripped my arms tightly, forcing them to my side and kissed me from my lips to my collarbone and into my bust line, kissing them through he fabric but never lingering. I moaned, as quietly as I could, and through my head back as he sucked the left one through the fabric. It didn't last long and he let go, I felt his hands wonder and then the fabric of the corset disappeared leaving me only in my thong.

"That's better, don't you agree?" Dean asked as he planted kissing on the exposed flesh. I groaned and he flipped us over. You know how in those movies, and sex scenes you can see the top half of their bodies and the fact that something is happening under the covers, but you never get the full view? That was what ended up happening, but to give you all a better idea I was quickly relieved of my thong, and was moaning as his ruff hands touched the very sensitive flesh down there.

"Oh, Dean...Dean baby, wait, stop.." I breathed out as he ran his member over my slit. He groaned but didn't move from his position.

"Top drew, under the bible, condoms." I muttered through his kisses over my chest. He stopped and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Under the bible? Really, Bella?" He asked, humor in his eyes. I rolled my eyes, I hadn't bothered making him use them the first time we had made love or even the second but I was on birth control, and had complete trust in him and he had pulled out the second time. I just wanted to be safe this time, the birth control was only 98. something present dependable. None the less he didn't argue as he reached over and grabbed one...the rest of the night was magic.

**A/N: Well here is chapter 16, I don't know much about collage or graduation being only 17 myself so I just winged it. As for the lime, boarder line lemon at the end...I'm not that confident about it, and that probably the closest to a lemon I'll write until next year or the year before because as it is I was a little embarrassed. I've never done anything like this before - yes I am a virgin – so I don't know how realistic it is or if I named all the proper parts, lol. I think I may have to up the rating?**

**Also people had made it known how much they like Dean and want Bella to stay with him. I am liking him more and more each time I write him as well, and I have come to a compromise. I shall write two endings, one with Edward/Bella and one with Bella/Dean. In the end Bella and Dean will probably both be Vampires in the Bella/Dean alternate ending. Also someone asked me why Bella keeps telling strangers her life story, that is simple. Crystal and her husband are Dean's family and as such they will probably know before long any way. So the way she sees it better to get everything out in the open now and save herself the trouble latter. Not mention Bella is a honest person, and she trust Dean's family not to go around telling others of her plites.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**Like I Never Existed Book II**

**Chapter 4: Breaking me down**

**LET IT GO  
How far will a falling star take me  
How far can I go can I go  
Gotta be what the nightmare made me  
Gotta be gotta be what I see  
Jump clear of the falling parts from me  
How far will they go will they go  
Can't give what you need from me baby  
Just let it go**

**Bringing me down break me down sweet sugar  
Bringing me down break me down  
Breaking me down to the ground sweet baby  
Breaking me down to the ground**

**Too much is made of what's in me  
Not enough about how I strive  
Keep an eye on your world it's cheating  
Keep an eye keep an eye on me  
Deep inside there's a little place for me  
A little place for me  
Can't give what you want from me baby  
Just leave it be**

**Sweet razor wound  
Deep down slice my groove  
Sweet razor wound  
Deep down C'mon and slice it**

**How far did the falling star take me  
How far did it go did it go  
Had to be what the nightmare made me  
Fuck,..Just had to be  
Jump clear of the falling parts form me  
How far did they go did they go  
Can't give what you want from me baby  
Hell,..Just let it go  
**

**Breaking me down by Soil**

**August 21st 2011:**

**BPOV:**

It had been almost a month since I graduated. I had decided to stay home for a while, spend time with Sarah and Mary as much as I could. Before I was forced to get a job that took me away more then just their nights. Dean and I had become even more serious since our graduation romp, and he himself was going to graduate with the class of 2012 next June. I didn't know what he planed to do, or how it involved me, but I hoped it would all turn out ok in the end.

He had moved in with me and the girls the beginning of August. It was a huge step for us, usually it was the females who moved in with their boyfriends but we always were sort of backwards anyways. We were now setting up to spend the weekend alone, the twins were going to spend a week in La Push with Emily and Sam, and then another week with Leah and Paul. So we would have two full weeks together without having to worry about being quiet for the twins or loosing a tender moment. I love my girls, I do, but if they interrupt quiet time one more time I'm sending them to boarding school – ok so that is a empty threat, but they don't know that.

"Baby, you ready?" Dean asked from the door. I blink and look over. I had on a simple blue sweater and black jeans, a pare of worn leather boots and a pair of arm warmers. He wore a army green tank top and pants, combat boots, his dog tags and a army jacket was slung over his arm. After dropping off the twins in Forks, a long drive that it was, we had went back home to change and now we were headed to a reunion of Deans – at least we would be. It wasn't exactly a high school reunion, but a Army reunion. I had no idea they did those kind of things but he had asked me to be his date.

"Not quiet, will you excuse me for a moment?" I asked. I usually wasn't a polite but then again I was always polite when nervous or thinking about something. Dean nodded, obviously he noticed my tone of voice as well. I charged up the stairs and quickly changed into a wonderful dark gray/brown fenella buttoned dress and matching strapy pumps. I slipped on a diamond encrusted cross pendent and two rings, both with diamonds, though one had pink sapphire and opal on it as well. It had amazed me how my fashion since had grown since Alice had left. I was sure she would be proud. I was fast to run back down the stairs, the dress went nicely with what he wore, I hadn't wanted to ware the blue dress I had been saving - even if he wanted me to - because it was so bright and would clash horribly with his army gear. I had told him those exact words and for moment I had to look around and make sure Alice wasn't in the room speaking through me.

"Darlin', you look Beautiful," he said, offering his arm. I grabbed my tan trench coat and purse as we left. It was the same coat and coach purse as the day we had first sort of date months before. I gladly took his arm and let him lead me to the car, once on the road it took us about three hours to get to the airport. The last hour because we stopped at a dinner in Boston to eat, the reason for me wearing such a extravagant outfit to board a plane. We would have to travel to Houston, luggage was simply to strainius so we had decided to simply buy a small wardrobe while staying in his family home in Texas. As we settled into our plane seats, first class, a present from Crystal who knew money was tight at the moment and wanted us to fly in comfort. I breathed in, I had never been a great flier, but as Dean took my hand and gave it squeeze, I turned to him and smiled.

"I love you," Dean said, bringing my hand up to his lips to place a gentle kiss.

"I love you too," I said, my voice full of emotion. This was the first time in years I had said those words and really meant them, at least to another man.

**-TIME SKIP**

**30 Hours latter: Houston, Texas,**

We arrived almost 31 hours latter, after one pit-stop after nearly 21 hours and then we were on another plane onto our destination. I was dreading the plane ride home. The good thing was we had arrived a day before the reunion, which was something we had worried about after the first 24 hours. Who would have known Texas was so far away from Massachusetts?

"Baby, you hungry?" Dean asked, as he drove our rental car. I looked to him before shaking my head, I wasn't hungry but I sure as hell was queasy.

"No, I'm fine. How much longer until we get to your family home?" I asked.

"Not long, Whitlock Plantation is sort of located in a more wooded area, lots of land but it's not that far from civilization. At least not anymore, back when it was built it was most likely miles and miles away from the nearest town," he answered. I nodded, though I knew almost everything about him, there was something I had begun to wounder about. His parents, I knew their names were Jasper and Katherine, but I had no idea what had happened to them.

"Dean, what happened to your parents? I don't think you've ever really said much about them." Dean sighed. I almost felt bad for speaking until he looked at me and with a almost haunted look he smiled.

"My parents died years ago. My father was in Vietnam back in the day, a war hero. Jasper Dante Whitlock. He died when I was 5 years old from some kind of soldier remorse or something or other. I was to young to understand and my mother was a wreak. She wouldn't talk about it if her life depended on it," he began. I felt my eyes water with tears. His poor mother and father, I felt bad for them but not pity. I knew how much pity hurt, but I couldn't help though but wonder if Dean would suffer the same fate as his father, they were both in wars, even if Dean was retired.

"My mother was another case. She moved to Texas when she was 16, only her mother and a few bags and the cloths on her back. Katherine Cynthia Yule was the daughter of my grandma, Mary Allison Brandon and her mother Cynthia Brandon. My mom met my dad and fell in love, and married at 17, though he was 23 himself. With the war going on I don't know how he found time for all this. Grandma died after Crystal turned a year old. Grandma seemed to just know Crystal would survive unlike my other sisters. She always had though, known things," he laughed, as if remembering something.

"Mom died when I was 15, from broken heart syndrome. Crystal raised me after that, along with my Uncle. I stayed with Uncle David when Crystal wanted out of Phoenix, I never liked the cold of Alaska or other places. So there you have it, my life story," Dean finished. I looked to him as we pulled up a old fashioned drive towards the plantation. A large tree was in front of the house with a tire swing and the house itself looked more like a mansion, possibly three stories, if not four, and seemed to have been refurbished recently.

"It's lovely," I breathed.

"It gets a new paint job every twenty years, it was repainted last year."

"Thank you, for telling me, it means a lot you can trust me," I said, smiling. Dean's face tightened for a split moment before he to smiled and turned the car off.

"Your welcome Darlin' Belle."

**-TIME SKIP:**

**August 24th, 2011: **

**Houston, Texas ; Whitlock Plantation,**

I smiled at my reflection as Dean stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist. He was dressed in his army uniform, with his metals on his chest. I didn't really know a lot of about what they meant and I was just happy to know he had gotten them for his loyalty to the unite and saving other lives at the expense of his own, assuming he would have not survived of course. Thankfully he was here today. I myself had found a beautiful ravens black dress that in the right light looked almost dark midnight blue. All my jewelry was a deep sapphire blue to match and I had high heels on. I was placing my earrings in when he kiss my neck and turned me around, kissing me softly.

"What was that?" I asked after he pulled back. He smiled and back up before dropping to a knee. I looked at him in wonder, what the hell was he doing? I felt butterfly in my stomach as he pulled out a deep red velvet box. He couldn't be? I mean really, was he really that serious about me? Did he love me that much, he said he did, but so had Jacob and Edward.

"I'm just trying to show you how much you mean to me, darlin'," he whispered to me before turning the lid of the box up. Inside was the most gorgeous, expensive ring I had ever seen. It was cut to perfection with diamonds and a large sapphire in the middle. I looked from the ring to Dean and he smirked, that lovely little smirk that I adored.

"Isabella Marie Swan, since the moment I met you I knew I was lost. I told myself this was to soon but I would be a fool to wait to long. Bella, will you be my wife?" he asked. I gasped, my hands came to my mouth and fought back a sobs. My first reaction was to scream to jump back, scream no, and leave. I couldn't do this again, what if he left me like Edward, like Jake? I sighed, shook my head and then as I opened them I saw his saddened eyes and I blinked before gasping and shaking my head again.

"No, Dean I was just clearing my head...of course I'll marry you," I clarified. He snapped his head up and his grin returned he stared at me in shock and wonder before chuckling.

"Really?" he asked.

"Really really, silly cowboy," I said, chuckling. He took the ring and I sighed happily as I gave him my left hand and he slipped the ring on. I through myself into his arm as he stood up and then a searing kiss. We broke apart after a moment and I slipped my purse on my shoulder and grabbed his arm.

"We should be going cowboy," I told him and he smiled and we left the house. It took us almost a hour to get the center where the function was being held and I was introduced to his friend and old comrades. They all greeted me with enthusiasm.

"We are all glad for Whitlock, he was such a emo guy after his...well I'm sure you know about that," one of his comrades, Patrick Ames said as he threaded his arm around a beautiful blonde with a very swollen stomach. She was looked at me in happiness but she kept glancing at my stomach as well. I felt sort of odd when she did that and shifted my champagne glass in hand. Unsuspectingly she walked forward with a smile and took the glass from me. Shocking both her husband and my fiance.

"You really shouldn't drink in your condition," she said, I think her name was Marisol. I blinked, my condition. She chuckled and put her hand on my slightly pooched out stomach. I knew had gained a little wait in the last month but I did not think it was that noticeable.

"You don't know do you?" Marisol asked. I shook my head as she sat my glass on a tray passing by.

"Your pregnant honey, I can tell. I've always had a sixth sense about these things," she said laughing. I gasped, looking at her in shock.

"Preg..that's not possible!" I cried. She smiled and just nodded.

"When was your last period? Just take a test, I could be wrong," Marisol suggested and I thought back, I was late but sometimes that happened. I bit my lip, could I really be pregnant, I looked behind me to Dean and saw he was in shock but I also saw happiness in his eyes, the thought of a child. I put a hand on my stomach where Marisol once was and nodded.

"Thank you, for telling me your thoughts." Marisol nodded and she and Patrick left talking to other people. I turned to Dean and walked into his arms, hugging him.

"We'll leave now, to get that test. It will be ok Bella, I'll be here for you the whole time," he whispered to me and I nodded and we said our goodbyes and I hugged Marisol once and we left. The car ride was silent, it was of course dark but I didn't mind, Dean was a great driver. I looked at his face and sighed, before looking back to the rode but I screamed as something red flashed and jumped onto the hood of our car. He swerved and then swerved again, I screamed, my hands going to my stomach as if to protect it, though I had no idea if I was really expecting or not I still felt I needed to worry, I had already lost one baby, I couldn't lose another. As we came to a stop my my door was torn open and cold hands grabbed me and tossed me to the ground, it was gently I knew from being experienced with vampires throwing me. I landed on my back and gripped my stomach, hopping that wouldn't hurt my possible baby.

"I told you I'd be back Bella," a sweet, bubblegum voice said above me but I heard Dean yell.

"Get away from her!" I sat up as Victoria looked towards Dean, he held a old gun, in his hands, a colt maybe? He was walking forward with little fear on his face and what he did have was directed to me.

"Who is this, your new lover boy? I'll just have to take care of him now wont I?" Victoria taunted. I cried out as I tried to stand, my arm was bruised and so was my back, it hurt to move.

"I said move it bloodsucker!" he called again and I gasped looking to Dean. He had a furious look on his face and Victoria laughed and began walking towards him he chuckled and fired the gun five times. I expected them to bounce off, but they all impacted and she dropped to the ground.

"Dead mans blood is really something huh, now If I was you I'd get my evil son of a bitch ass out of my sight!" he roared. I had never seen him made before, it didn't scare me I simply found it sexy. Victoria snarled but in a flash slower then what I thought she'd go she was gone. Dean was quick to run to my side and he picked me up bridal side, tears were running down my face.

"Hospital Dean, I need a hospital," I whispered. He nodded, tears coming to his eyes, he was expecting the worse and so was I, after we were in the car, which somehow survived I black out.

**-TIME SKIP:**

**August 25th 2011:**

**Houston General hospital:**

I awoke a day latter with a slight headache, I was hooked to monitors and Dean was beside me holding my hand. I turned to look at him and I placed my other hand over my pooched stomach, it wasn't flat like it had been two months ago so maybe? If Marisol had been right, had I lost the baby, was it ok?

"Babe, you ok?" I heard Dean ask as he moved closer, kissing me softly. I nodded, then I looked at our intertwined hands.

"What...how...what did the doctor say?" I asked him. He smiled, his eyes lighting up.

"They did some test, your pregnant baby," he said, and I smiled, but then I bit my lip.

"The baby, he or she is ok, right?" Dean's eyes widened and he nodded.

"Yes, the Doctor said you were lucky. There was some major bruising on your back and arms, you sprung your left wrist as well. He was actually shocked you..you didn't loose the baby," he said and I burst into tears, sobs racked my body.

"Bella, darlin everything is ok. Our baby is ok!" he cried and I nodded.

"I know, these are happy tears. I'm happy." He chuckled and kissed me softly running a hand through my hair.

"What did you tell them?" I asked. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"That we had a accident, some bear was on the road, and it tore the car door off and threw you. You had a few claw like marks on your arms so they believed it," I nodded. I still didn't know how he knew about vampires, cause it was obvious he did.

"How?" He sighed and took my hands in his.

"My father's grandmother was a hunter, it runs in the family. My Mother was one but she never really took it seriously, after I got out of the military I started taking it more seriously. I hunted none stop for about a year before going back to college were I met you. I always keep the colt on me, its a family gun which is dipped in dead mans blood, as are all the bullets." I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I didn't realize you would know about the supernatural and I was afraid you'd run away from me." I sighed, why was this every guys fear?

"I've known for years now. My mother's family was a long line of Hunters. I'm shocked though, I thought they were usually female?" I asked, and he laughed.

"It is, but I guess I am a exception." I laughed with him and we both looked up as a doctor came in.

"Good afternoon Ms. Swan. I'm Dr. Rowan, I was the one who looked after you when Mr. Whitlock brought you in yesterday," he said. The doctor was middle aged, black hair with gray around the edges and slate gray eyes. I smiled at him and groaned as my back protested to my moving.

"I see, you had quit the fall. I'm very happy to say your baby is healthy, I was shocked but your a very strong woman it seems. I would like for you to take it easy for the next two months to be on the safe side. No heavy lifting, no running, pretty much I'd request bed-rest." He was looking to Dean for most of this, letting him know how imperitive this was. I swallowed and nodded.

"Two months, but we don't live in Texas. My twins are with a friend in Washington," I said. He sighed and pulled up a chair.

"If it was possible to get them brought here, or maybe your friend can take care of them for the time you remain in Texas? I can't allow a plane trip at the moment, it would be to risky, the drop in pressure could induce a miscarriage with your injuries at present. As it is I'd like to keep you here for a week or two until your healed a bit more," he said. I nodded, maybe it would be possible. Seth would love to get to spend more time with Sarah. I looked to Dean and then nodded. I wouldn't put my baby in more danger then it was already in.

"I think I can work something out, I'm sure they will understand." Dr. Rowan nodded and stood up.

"I'll go get the nurse to bring you lunch and the first of your prenatal vitamins. Have a good day Mr. Whitlock, Ms. Swan." then he left and I was left alone with Dean who placed his forehead on mine.

"Everything will be fine, Bella," he said, and I believed him.


End file.
